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Sermon

The Fifth Word

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Note: This transcript and summary was autogenerated. It has not yet been proofread or edited by a human.

Summary

The fifth commandment — “Honor your father and your mother” — stands as a transitional bridge between our duty to God and our duty to others. The family structure is the foundation of all society, and it is within the home that children first learn authority, obedience, and respect. We are reminded that the Hebrew word for “honor” means “weighty,” signifying the seriousness God places on the parent-child relationship.

This commandment carries both a promise and a reward: abundant life and God’s blessing for those who obey. Drawing from Proverbs, we are called to guard our hearts, our speech, our eyes, and our steps as we walk the narrow path of wisdom.

Key Lessons:

  1. Honoring parents is a weighty, serious matter that forms the foundation for all other relationships and for a rightly ordered society.
  2. The fifth commandment carries a unique promise — that obedience to parents leads to a full, abundant, and blessed quality of life.
  3. When children leave home, they must diligently guard the wisdom they have learned — protecting their hearts, words, eyes, and steps from corruption.
  4. There are always two paths before us — the broad road of folly and the narrow road of wisdom — and we must choose daily which voice to follow.

Application: Parents are called to faithfully teach God’s commandments and model them in the home. Children and young adults are called to honor and obey their parents, and when they leave home, to guard the wisdom they received — refusing to abandon it for the temptations of the world. Each person must examine their heart, speech, gaze, and direction of life to ensure they remain on the path of righteousness.

Discussion Questions:

  1. In what practical ways can parents teach the Ten Commandments so that children internalize them as a foundation for life?
  2. What are the greatest temptations young adults face to “lay aside” what they learned at home, and how can they prepare to resist those temptations?
  3. How does the instruction to “guard your heart” in Proverbs 4:23 challenge the popular culture’s message to “follow your heart”?

Scripture Focus: Exodus 20:12 establishes the command to honor father and mother with a promise of prolonged life. Ephesians 6:1-3 universalizes this promise for all believers. Proverbs 1:8-9 calls children to hear their father’s instruction and not forsake their mother’s teaching. Proverbs 4:23-27 provides the practical blueprint for guarding the heart, speech, eyes, and steps in wisdom.

Outline

Introduction

Well, let’s take our Bibles this morning and turn to Exodus 20.

We’re going to be looking also at Proverbs, at least several passages there. Today I want to really look at what I’m calling the fifth word because the commandments actually were called the ten words in the beginning. That’s what they referred to.

The fifth commandment has been referred to as the transitional commandment. This is because the family structure lays at the foundation of everything in society. That’s where a person learns authority and obedience, and that is something that benefits everyone when they learn those things.

Today I want to be looking at Exodus 20:12 and then on to other passages of scripture.

Let me look at that passage right now and read it to you. Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”

Let’s pray.

Opening Prayer

Father, this morning as I come to your word, I thank you that you have allowed us to own the word of God and have many copies of the word of God. I pray Lord the word of God would never sit on a table and collect dust. And I pray Lord we would always read it, we would always listen to it.

We would always be ready to receive it, even if receiving it is going to correct us because of sin or it’s going to teach us more about who you are and what you want us to do so we can be better servants.

Oh Lord, whatever you want in our life, we would be all equipped for every good work that you have ordained for every one of your children so we can use the gifts you’ve given us to build up the body of Christ and to see people come to know the Lord as their savior.

So Lord, today I pray that you would bless moms as they have a tough task today to be able to teach their kids and develop their character in a way that they will come to be obedient to their voice and then respectful to their person. That when they leave the home, those character qualities would be firmly embedded in them. That everybody who sees them will recognize there’s something different about that kid.

I pray Lord that you would continue to give them the wisdom that parents themselves would grow in the knowledge and wisdom of Christ so they learn how to please you in all things.

And I ask you, Lord, that you would do that in our lives as fathers and as mothers so we can raise kids that know you and live for you and make a difference in this world. And I pray in Christ’s name. Amen.

As I said, parents were and are still given the responsibility to teach their children how to live in the framework of the structure of the Ten Commandments. Ladies today, mothers today, if you want to know what to teach your kids, start with the Ten Commandments because the Ten Commandments is going to give them a perspective of who God is, a correct perspective, and then how to live in this world with people.

Right in the middle of the Ten Commandments is the fifth commandment. And that fifth commandment becomes very important because it is going to develop families and communities and countries that actually reflect the character of God.

The conscious reality when we come to this fifth commandment is that we human beings created in the image of God are responsible for our own character and for our own actions. And we are justly held accountable for our habits, for our words, for our deeds.

In a real sense, the Ten Commandments are the source and the summary of every other passage in the Bible about holy living. They cover every conceivable sin, including pride and anger. And that means that parents, when they live out and teach their children the Ten Commandments, it serves them well in the quest for holiness and character because the Ten Commandments reflect God’s perfect character.

They’re not temporary, and some people would think that they are. They’re not a temporary standard. They are a permanent rule of life for redeemed people and they are the standard by which the world will be judged.

There is nothing like these commandments because they stimulate the process of sanctification. Even in the New Testament, when you keep them, it says in the gospels it’s an act of love to Christ. If you love me, you’ll keep my commandments.

It’s also the basis of assurance. When the truth is in you, it assures your heart before God.

It is true that keeping them cannot save a single soul. It can point to Christ. It can identify sin, but it cannot save you.

But for believers saved by grace through faith in Christ alone, it is priceless.

When the fifth commandment or the fifth word is taught and received, it becomes a bridge between our responsibility toward God and our responsibility toward mankind.

It was Arthur Pink who said, “Parents do in some sense occupy to their children the place of God. And we are dependent upon our parents for food and for clothing, for care, which we would have died if they didn’t care for us. We were influenced by their whim or their wisdom or their harshness or kindness for happiness and sometimes for sadness.”

But we can’t endlessly blame our parents for our behavior and our actions. We must take responsibility for that. And this fifth commandment helps parents to do that.

There’s a profundity about this commandment that we alone are responsible for our actions and the action here is to honor father and mother. And this is the first place that we will learn how to interact with others. Whether we come from a good family or whether we come from not so good of a family, we are still responsible as to how we respond to parental authority.

The ultimate idea of the relationship between parents and children is to be found in the relationship between God and all mankind. Honoring parents and God are closely related.

The Meaning of the Fifth Commandment

Now the first thing I want to look at in our text is just what is the meaning of the fifth commandment, or what is the stress in this commandment. If you notice in verse 12, it says “honor your father and mother.” This word honor is really from the Hebrew word that means weighty.

It means to be weighed down with respect.

Honor Means Weighty Respect

That to honor father and mother is, in other words, a very serious, weighty matter. You can’t take this lightly.

“To honor father and mother is a very serious weighty matter. You can’t take this lightly.”

This is something that comes from the mind of God to us to be able to live right in the world and to have a relationship with our family that is peaceful and harmonious and growing.

To honor one’s parents means much more than obedience. Obedience surely is included, but further it is to give your parents a place of superiority, to hold them in high esteem, to learn how to respect them.

The Parental Relationship Shapes All Others

The parental relationship is the first and most important relationship. It is a relationship that will be shaped by all other relationships and will shape all other relationships.

“The parental relationship is the first and most important relationship — it will shape all other relationships.”

There are all kinds of exceptions to this. Good parents with bad kids, bad parents with good kids.

But parents who are absent, who push off their responsibilities to someone else are worthy of neither respect nor honor.

Such disregard not only damages the community but the church also.

A Child’s Natural Bent Toward Defiance

A child’s natural bent is to defy parental authority. It is to be dealt with, though, at the youngest age.

And the conscientious parent can head off disobedience and rebellion before it gets ingrained in their character.

“The conscientious parent can head off disobedience and rebellion before it gets ingrained in their character.”

While they’re young, while they’re pliable, while they’re tender shoots, parents can get their kids to listen to their voice and to follow their lead.

This assumes that the parents are listening to the voice of God. They are people who want to put the principles of scripture into practice.

You can get your kids to listen to you. You can get your kids to follow your lead. You can get your kids to honor you and obey you.

That’s how God designs things. And when we follow them, we please our God because he places special emphasis on parental authority.

Parents, I want to say right now to you: you have the power, and God’s given you the power. But you have to use that power wisely and in the right way.

That means you have to really take heed to yourself before you even implement these things and transfer them to your children. The parent-child relationship is the first place that they will learn what it is for someone to have authority over them.

This is where children learn how to listen to people. This is where children learn how to obey even when they are told things they do not want to do.

What Honoring Parents Includes

It is a place where children learn how to honor and respect others, what it means to worship God, and carry out the first four commandments and then the last five commandments.

Honoring parents includes several positive things. One of them involves listening—getting your kids to listen to your voice like it says in Colossians. This commandment is reiterated in Colossians and in Ephesians. It is something that is transferred to the church. Colossians says, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.”

Now we have a connection between obedient children that is taught by the parents and pleasing God.

“There is a connection between obedient children taught by the parents and pleasing God.”

There’s a connection. You can’t really move away from that connection.

Proverbs and other places tell us that the father of someone who is righteous greatly rejoices, and that a father and a mother are glad and rejoice at the son or daughter they gave birth to. That’s what you want.

You want your parents to rejoice over you because you have grown to be a wise person.

Honoring also involves adhering to and imitating their teaching. Proverbs 1:8-9 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instructions and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” The best way to show yourself a fool is to think your parents are fools. The book of Proverbs reiterates the admonition to honor one’s parents, extolling them as the foundations of wisdom.

In Proverbs 10:1, a wise son makes his father glad, but a foolish son is grief to his mother. The whole family is upset when one of the children is not compliant to the word of God. That is the responsibility of parents.

In other words, moms, if you want things to go well in your home, implement the commandments. Teach your kids the commandments and get them to honor you and obey you—not stubbornly, but willingly.

Obedience and honor really foster discipline, which in turn brings stability in the home. Scripture even says it brings longevity to a person’s life and well-being of character. Proper obedience springs from reverence and respect.

What Dishonoring Parents Looks Like

There are some things though. Honoring parents has to include really avoiding negative things. To honor is equal to obedience. To dishonor is equal to disobedience.

Disobedience is shown in the acts and the attitudes of children when they display reckless disregard of parental advice and a lawless demand for their own freedom.

“To honor is equal to obedience. To dishonor is equal to disobedience.”

What happens is it begins to threaten the family and the community and really produces some of society’s most serious problems when children are out of hand. One thing when we were in London, I saw graffiti all over the place on everything.

Even the most sacred buildings they have there have graffiti. You could see that it was graffitied, then painted over, and graffitied and painted over again. The process goes on.

Now, who’s doing those things? I don’t think those things are being done by people who learned the fifth commandment.

I’m standing there outside of a drugstore and there’s this kid who runs out with all these things in his hand. The owner comes running out after him. This kid is just stealing stuff and runs into this alley. The guy just puts up his hand and they’re not doing anything about it.

What kind of kid is that? Is that the kind of kid that was taught the fifth commandment and the commandments? No. That’s the kind of kid that wants to be free and do what he wants to do.

Old Testament Consequences for Dishonor

A child who violated the written law concerning their parents in the Old Testament faced punitive measures. This demonstrates the weight of this commandment: honoring parents included not cursing your parents.

Where it says, “He who curses father and mother shall surely be put to death.” That’s pretty serious. It also meant not treating them with disrespect or dishonor.

Exodus 21:17: “He who curses father and mother shall surely be put to death.”

Cursed is he who dishonors father and mother. A child was also not to steal from them or strike his parents.

If a child became so blatant in the Old Testament that the parents could not control them, they were to bring that child to the elders and say, “We cannot do anything for this child. He is stubborn. He’s rebellious and he will not listen and obey the voice of father or mother.”

What does the Bible say? If the elders examined him and that happened, they were to take him out and stone him to death.

And then it says this: “So you shall remove evil from your midst.” God equates this kind of activity with evil.

That means the general principle was this: disobedience and dishonor promote a lack of discipline, which in turn brought instability, a shortened life, and a lack of well-being in the home.

Objections from Difficult Family Situations

There are obvious difficulties that arise out of this subject.

Some young people may say that their parents are not lovable and therefore they cannot love them, or that they are not wise and therefore they cannot respect them, or that they are unreasonable and selfish and even have vices of temper and speech and addictions.

Therefore, it’s impossible to honor them. Now, there are probably not a few children in our day who are inclined to take that position.

At first hearing, this could seem to be reasonable enough.

If the tables were turned, I’m sure that the children wouldn’t be happy if the parents treated them and didn’t feed them and didn’t clothe them when they were unlovable and unable to take care of themselves.

“If the tables were turned, children wouldn’t be happy if parents didn’t feed and clothe them when they were unlovable.”

Because really, the honest truth about most of us is that we were very plain and somewhat cloudy in intelligence.

Our tempers were far from likable. And to top these, we were very selfish and self-centered.

But our parents did love us, most of us.

They loved us just the way we were because we were their children and they loved us in spite of our faults and our shortcomings.

Young people, your parents who have lived in this world 20 or 30 years longer than yourselves have found out some things worth knowing. If you’re silly enough to dispense with their experience and their wisdom, then you will most certainly suffer for your folly.

Anyhow, the scripture before us says this: honor your father and mother.

No children should express habitual contempt for their parents, treat them harshly, or ignore them or dig in against them.

Because if they knew more about the world from their parents’ view, they may possibly see in their parents a power and a wisdom which as yet in their youth they have not discovered or experienced.

The Promise: Long Life in the Land

The bottom line is if parental authority came to be generally disregarded, the whole structure of society would be dissolved, and that’s exactly what happens. If God is not first and parents are not honored and self and individualism are idolized, the result in society is going to break down, crumble, and fracture. Also the church.

To despise those who brought them into the world and nurtured them to adulthood is really a sign of our times. When Paul said to the church that men will be lovers of self, and self is what drives this rebellion and disobedience to parents. Because the next thing it says is disobedience to parents, haters of good, and then it ends with lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.

The sense of this commandment is a serious and weighty matter for a parent to consider. This fifth word here is in the middle of the commandments. But at the same time, there’s a motivation in this fifth commandment that is very helpful and could be taught to the children too.

What is that? Look back at verse 12 of Exodus. It says, “And your days may be prolonged in the land.” This is given to the nation of Israel before they go into the land. God is saying, “Listen, if you want to have prolonged days when you go into this land, if you want to have a good life there, you will follow this commandment.”

So honoring parents really brings goodness into one’s life. In fact, the honoring of parents leads to the lengthening of one’s days. The same result ensues from what the Bible says about fearing God. Like in Proverbs 10:27, the fear of the Lord prolongs life, but the years of the wicked will be shortened.

Living long in the land was more than just chronology. The phrase really has to do with abundant life. If you want to enjoy the full blessing of God, the full blessing that God has for you in the promised land or on earth, then you will listen to your mom and your dad.

“If you want to enjoy the full blessing God has for you, then you will listen to your mom and your dad.”

There’s the promise that is given. And then also there is a reward that is given, and that reward is that you will live long in the land. The reward of honoring parents is brought up in Ephesians. What Paul does in Ephesians is bring up this commandment to Christian readers, and then he omits any reference to the land of Israel and universalizes the promise.

What is the promise? That you may live long on the earth. Don’t you want to live a better quality of life? Don’t you want your children to live a better quality of life?

And kids, don’t you want to live a better quality of life when you leave the home? Don’t you want to put these principles into practice? If we live wisely as our parents taught, I pray that would be the result—that we would live long on the earth.

It’s like when the birthday comes and you celebrate. How old are you going to be? Twelve. Well, you better hope you make it to thirteen. We’ll see.

Parents have the authority over their kids. But even if our life on earth is not long because of God’s providence, we will live forever in heaven because our parents taught us to put our faith in Jesus Christ and follow him.

A Promise That Gives Hope

Now, think for a moment. Picture a child who starts to learn God’s commandments for the first time and listening and honoring his parents. There are several observations that can be made from our text.

Number one, a promise is a positive characteristic for the child that gives them hope and anticipation.

Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment. It says with a promise.

What is the promise? The promise is that you will live long on the earth. You won’t have your life shortened by foolishness, by being a scoffer and getting beat up and killed by someone or being naive. You’re not aware of things and therefore you lose your life.

The promise here is that you are going to have a long life. Kids, when you honor your mom and dad you actually gain the respect, the trust, and the freedom that you really crave.

“When you honor your mom and dad, you actually gain the respect, the trust, and the freedom that you really crave.”

I love what it says in Deuteronomy 10:6. It says, “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require from you? But to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and to keep the Lord’s commandments, and his statutes, which I am commanding you today for your good.” The commandments are for the good of our kids.

They need to know them. Matter of fact, I really have come to the conviction that your kid shouldn’t go on to any other thing until they know the commandments because the commandments are going to clearly set in their minds that they are sinners.

When you get to the place where you share the gospel, they’ll know what they need to get saved from. The very sin they’ve committed that keeps them out of heaven.

God Himself Stands Behind the Promise

A second thing from our text is it puts an onus on the one making the promise, and the one making the promise is God himself. He will deliver on the promise.

“It puts an onus on the one making the promise — and the one making the promise is God himself. He will deliver.”

When a child learns to trust God, trust the Lord and his word early in their life, early in the development of their character, then when they get to a place where they hear the gospel, they’re going to remember the gospel is a command. It’s a command to believe. They’ll obey that command.

Motivated to Pursue Deeper Knowledge of God

And then a third thing would be a young person would be motivated to go on to listen to the voice of God in the rest of the commandments and actually pursue a deeper knowledge of who God is. The whole book of the word of God from Genesis to Revelation—this whole divine revelation given to us. They’ll want to learn it.

They’ll finally learn that God who has revealed himself to his creatures has from the beginning taken his children by the hand to care for them, their welfare, to make known to them his will, and to mark out for them the way of happiness. You want to be happy? Don’t search for it here. Don’t search for it there. Don’t search for it in some thing or some person or some event. Search for it in God because he’s handing it to you.

“You want to be happy? Don’t search for it in some thing or person. Search for it in God — he’s handing it to you.”

So parents, we can teach our kids in a very positive way. Listen, you want your life to go well? Learn these things well in your life so you can live under the eye of God in a pleasing manner.

So that means when a child learns early that listening and obeying those in authority over them, it is beneficial to them and it is motivational to them.

Ephesians 6:4 says that you may live long on the earth.

Now this means if you want to be blessed, if you want to have a blessed life, a full life under the blessing and the good hand of God, then keep his commandments. Keep this fifth word and obey your parents.

So our Lord looks down on those who keep his word with pleasure. He smiles at kids who practice obedience.

He knows when they’re standing up in their own heart and defiling their parents while they’re saying, “Yes, I’ll do that,” when they really don’t want to do it. God knows about that.

He smiles on kids who practice willful obedience to their parents with a good attitude.

Thank God for such a promise.

In fact, I believe one of the prayers that parents should be praying for their children really comes out of Colossians. Pray for your kids that they would walk in a manner worthy of the Lord to please him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. That’s a good prayer to pray, and that’s a good prayer to pray for ourselves too because it’s not just for children. It’s for all of us.

The Reward of Abundant Life

But I must admit that obeying is not always easy.

Sometimes it means obeying when you don’t understand. Sometimes it involves obedience when your personal desires are in direct opposition to your parents’ desires.

And yet, if you are to honor God in that situation, then you must honor your parents’ desires. Not sometimes, not when you think you are right, always.

Kids, mark it down. Obedience makes life easier, especially when there’s proper respect for your parents.

And then there’s the reward of abundant life. Proverbs picks up this theme and says this: “For length of days and years of life and peace they will be added to you.” Can someone live a premature life and die early because of foolishness?

Proverbs 3:2: “For length of days and years of life and peace they will be added to you.”

The answer to that is yes.

The reward of abundant life is not really a promise for a long life in this world in every instance as a result of obedience, or every obedient person will live to a ripe old age. But the general tendency is that keeping the divine precepts issues in the prolongation and the preservation of health. In other words, a good quality of life.

Obedience of children to wise, loving parents results in habits of industry. They become good workers, of self-control. They’re in control of themselves. They don’t lose it. They’re not unnecessarily angry over everything.

They have respect for people. They are kind and they learn to worship God. They live their lives under the eyes of God.

God tells us to keep this commandment so that it’ll go well with us and we will enjoy long life on the earth. And that is a matter of wisdom.

Two Paths: Wisdom and Folly

Now, saying all this, I say this that this is really what’s before us: a two-way teaching.

There’s two roads. There’s the broad road and there’s the narrow road. The inexperienced person untaught by wisdom is instructed in the two paths of life. One is characterized by seductive words and glittering prizes, though in reality strewn with traps, and the other is honorable and safe.

One voice tells lies, saying nothing about the dangers that lie ahead and even the possibility of a sudden death if you take this path.

The other voice is truthful and informs about the dangers and consequences of foolishness.

And the fact remains that there are two ways before every person. Matter of fact, the two ways are before us every day.

“One voice tells lies about the dangers ahead. The other voice is truthful and informs about the consequences of foolishness.”

Which one will you take?

Wisdom exposes the hidden nets and traps. Folly fails to recognize or ignores the dangers and just hopes maybe able to get through this one without a scratch.

There was a New York Times article published in the obituaries about a famous Christian leader and they actually quoted right from his autobiography and it said this in the obituary.

When we are born into a war zone where the forces of God do battle with the forces of evil, sometimes we get trapped, pinned down in the crossfire and in the heat and the noise of the distracting battles, two voices call out for us to follow. Satan wants to lead us to death. He wants us to be foolish. He wants us to be naive. He wants us not to learn.

And he surely doesn’t want you to be wise.

And then God wants to lead us to eternal life and to a life that is pleasant and wholesome and filled with joy and filled with goodness. And that’s what he will do for us.

Which Voice Will You Follow?

And this is the promise that we have in this fifth commandment. So the question is, which voice will you listen to?

Which voice, children, are you going to follow when you’re on your own? And Jesus spoke of those who follow the broad way that leads to destruction.

It’s a decision, unfortunately, that a majority take. And he said, “Few travel the narrow road.” Proverbs, if you read that wisdom literature, is asking those who fear God in other words to walk the least traveled path.

“Proverbs is asking those who fear God to walk the least traveled path. Don’t walk with the crowd everywhere.”

So we must decide whether to follow God or the world. Those are the choices every day of our lives.

Those who listen to the wisdom of God’s word already know that choosing the way of life and righteousness over folly and destruction is pivotal to living a meaningful, moral, and holy life before God. Everyone has two choices.

You can walk on the path of the fool, on the path of the naive, or on the path of the scoffer, which is the wicked path. The wicked path is encompassed by deep darkness because they don’t know what they stumble at.

On the other hand, the choice to walk the path of righteousness is surrounded by illuminating light. The word lights our path so we can see the trip wires, the potholes, and the people tempting us to go a way that we ought not to, or circumstances that will lead us into a place that we shouldn’t go.

A wise person looks at the beginning, the middle, and the end before they even make a decision. They say, “If I do this, this is going to happen and I’m going to end up here. I could even end up dead.” So a wise person says, “Why would I want to do that?”

The wicked path is always encompassed by darkness. The righteous path is always lit up to see what could go wrong.

The Main Goal: Guard What You Have Learned

That leads me to this: What is the main goal of the fifth commandment?

This is the main goal. When you leave home, you will guard what you have learned. You will guard it as precious treasure because what you have learned can be stolen.

“When you leave home, guard what you have learned. Guard it as precious treasure — because it can be stolen.”

It can be lost. It can be replaced. It can be corrupted. It can be abandoned.

Diligence really must be applied every single day so that you will keep what you have learned.

If you guard the wisdom that you have learned, it will guard you and it will reap the benefits of the promise that’s given in this commandment.

Now, turn over to Proverbs 1. Proverbs should be smack in the middle of your Bibles.

Hear Your Father’s Instruction (Proverbs 1:8)

Proverbs 1. I want you to notice that in this passage, in verse 8, it starts somewhere, but then it continues in another place.

In Proverbs 1:8, notice what it says. The first part of that verse: “Hear my son, your father’s instruction.” That’s where it begins.

It begins by hearing.

Are you? Here this is hearing with attention. This is hearing with interest.

“It begins by hearing — hearing with attention, hearing with interest, keen hearing.”

This is keen hearing.

They get the instruction that’s being given by the father. But remember, that’s just knowledge.

They can learn that.

Do Not Forsake Your Mother’s Teaching

But I want you to notice the second part of the verse, and this is where it continues: “Do not forsake your mother’s teaching. In other words, don’t abandon what you have been learning.”

What the pupils have learned at home should not be laid aside. They weren’t to cut it off. They weren’t to reject it.

They weren’t just to blow it off as if it meant nothing. The preparation given by wives and parents is not to be laid aside by the young adults when leaving home.

“Do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Don’t abandon what you have been learning.”

That is to learn more formally from teachers who will train them in their roles in this world. This means that parents’ instructions will be the foundation on which they will build the superstructure of knowledge, and if they cast that off, everything crumbles.

The Test When You Leave Home

Young people, learn well the teaching of your parents and teachers who fear God because someday you’ll be in a situation where you’ll be hearing from certain professors, certain teachers, a mentor, a colleague, a business associate, a friend, or a roommate who will entice you and tempt you to cast off what you learned. Cast off the biblical teaching for something in the moment. It is more practical. It is more rational. It’s more real. It’s more flesh appealing. And it’s more exciting.

I want an exciting life.

That’s going to be the test.

That’s going to be the test on whether you abandon what was taught by your God-fearing parents.

“That’s going to be the test — whether you abandon what was taught by your God-fearing parents.”

If you do lay it aside, if you do lay aside the teaching of your father and mother, it will reveal a deeper spiritual problem. It will show your affections have moved in another direction away from the Lord to another object, to another thing, and you will put yourself in the place of God.

Don’t give in to temptations like that.

There will be many temptations, especially when you leave home and go to college, go into the military, start a job, or move somewhere else. You’re going to be tested by those things every day. But you have to decide and purpose in your mind way ahead of time.

What are you going to do?

I’d say don’t give in to such temptations, but hold fast to the faith and the body of doctrine that was taught to you. Learn at that point to seek godly counsel to get your affection back on the Lord and your mind back in the word of God.

Then remember these three things.

Wisdom Will Rescue You

The first one is this. If you guard the wisdom you have learned, it will rescue you.

Proverbs 20:2. So you will walk in the way of good men and keep to the path of righteousness.

In other words, wisdom will keep you aware of your own remaining corruption.

“If you guard the wisdom you have learned, it will rescue you. Wisdom will keep you aware of your own remaining corruption.”

Wisdom will give you the right knowledge of the source of temptation, which exists in abundant variety.

Wisdom will provide discernment for the snares of temptation. Wisdom will enlighten you to identify the people of sin.

That means wisdom and knowledge and understanding are the very equipment when leaving home against the flaming darts of evil men and evil women and evil plans and evil desires and evil pursuits, because they’re all out there.

Wisdom Will Reward You

I think a second thing is if you guard the wisdom you have learned, it will reward you.

Keep in mind wisdom that comes from God must be sought out diligently like searching for hidden treasure.

It takes effort on the part of the children of God to search for it. But when they find it, they understand it.

They will hold to God’s wisdom because it reaps certain rewards that you get nowhere else. Now, just take your Bibles and look at Proverbs 3. I want you to notice these passages and answer this question for me: Does this sound like a good quality of life or not?

Look at verse 2 of Proverbs 3: “For length of days and years of life and peace they will be added to you.” Look at verse 4: “So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and men.”

Look at verse 6, the last part: “And he will make your path straight.” Look at Proverbs 3:8: “It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.”

Now look at verse 10, chapter 3: “So your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.”

Does that sound like a good quality of life? Yes. That’s what wisdom produces.

Proverbs 3:10: “Your barns will be filled with plenty and your vats will overflow with new wine.”

Not only does it produce length of days and a good path and right standing with God, but you’ll have property and you’ll be able to use money correctly. You won’t run out of things that you may run out of if you take a different path. God’s going to bless you in those things. He’s going to give you wisdom to make right decisions at different phases in your life.

Each case here shows an appearance of a reward and a promise.

But what we are really looking at is the cause and effect pattern of Proverbs: good conduct carries a reward with it, and bad behavior brings its own distresses.

Maintain a Diligent State of Readiness

Another thing would be if you stay true to wisdom, you must maintain a diligent state of readiness.

Like I said, these things could be robbed from you. You can lay them aside. You can abandon them. You can walk out the door of your house when you’re going to college and say, “Fooey on that. I’m going to go live my own life.”

I’m going to do what I want to do.

You can do that. You have that choice to do that. But that’s a very dangerous path to be on.

“These things could be robbed from you. You can lay them aside. You can abandon them. That’s a very dangerous path.”

That means that you are not taking up a state of readiness, but you’re going to do what you want to do.

But if you don’t want to do that, what must you do? And that brings me to Proverbs 4. And I’d like you to turn there right now.

What must you do?

And this is carrying out the fifth commandment. This is when the child leaves the home. This is what he’s going to do—what he learned. Now the knowledge turns into practice.

I have all this stuff that I learned, but am I actually doing it? Do I want to do it? And notice if you want to stay true to wisdom, you must maintain a diligent state of readiness. And what must you do here?

Guard Your Inner Man (Proverbs 4:23a)

Here’s the first thing: be on guard over your inner man. Look at verse 23.

Proverbs 4:23.

Just the first part of verse 23 says, “Watch over your heart with all diligence.” That means to guard your heart. A good way of thinking of this is to picture guarding your heart as if your heart were a criminal tied to a chair who would like to break free and knock you over the head and take over.

Proverbs 4:23: “Watch over your heart with all diligence.”

In other words, guard yourself from your heart’s sinfulness.

Even though you are a born again believer, you still have remaining corruption in your heart.

Satan is good at tempting. He knows how to tempt people. He’s had thousands of years to perfect it.

You’re not going to step aside from his darts unless you have the armor of God on. Part of the armor of God is wisdom—wisdom to know what to do.

Remember, we must be realistic about our own hearts.

If you really examine your heart, you’re going to find lies there. You’re going to find lust there. You’re going to find selfishness there. You’re going to find self-centeredness and lust and envy and hatred and anger and pride, just to name a few.

In other words, Proverbs is saying keep a weary eye on your heart, knowing that it can do damage to you even now if not carefully watched.

What you think about, what you let go into your eye gate, what you let come into your ears, what people around you that you allow to influence you—even though they’re not influencing you correctly—those are all choices. But I must guard the heart.

What is the message in the world? Follow your heart. That is right from the pit of hell.

If you follow your heart, you’re going to walk right off the cliff because God warns of the wrong and deadly direction your heart could take you.

“The world says ‘follow your heart’ — that is right from the pit of hell. If you follow your heart, you’ll walk right off the cliff.”

The heart is more deceitful than all else and desperately sick. Who can understand it?

Then it says there, “I the Lord search the heart. I test the mind even to give each man according to his ways, according to the results of his deeds.” God’s watching.

Guard What You Are (Proverbs 4:23b)

He’s watching. The first thing in this verse, verse 23, is to guard your inner man. The second thing in verse 23 is to guard what you are.

It says, “From it flows the springs of life.” The heart is the central organ in wisdom literature and it often is paraphrased with the word mind since it does have an intellectual component to it, but it also pictures the basic orientation of a person embracing desires and emotions and attitudes. Grammatically it could be translated “out of the heart is life” or better “out of the keeping of the heart in wisdom is life.”

And that is this description here that we are to guard who we are. That means what? Who are we at that particular point? And what has the word of God made us to be? Why would I want to fling that to the curb when it’s taking so long for God to develop that in me?

“Why would I want to fling that to the curb when it’s taking so long for God to develop that in me?”

Guard What You Say (Proverbs 4:24)

But it could take place if we get influenced in the wrong way. So we have to guard ourselves. And then in verse 24 of Proverbs 4, notice what it says: “You’re to guard, be guarded in what you say. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious lips far from you.” So here again, a Hebrew imperative, a command.

That man’s utterance is understood to be expressed and be identical with his thoughts and his purposes. In other words, speech reveals inner thoughts.

When people say things that are wicked and slanderous and then the person steps back and says, “Oh, I didn’t mean that.” Yes, you did mean that because that came from your heart.

So we have to protect what we say. We have to know what we’re going to say before we say it. That’s what a wise person does. And we have to purpose to put away devious and crooked speech from us.

Avoiding really the superficial habits of speech like cynical talk and deceit and lies and grumbles and complaints, gossip and rudeness, sarcasm and half-truths and exaggeration all come from a well-established habit of thought.

“We have to know what we’re going to say before we say it. That’s what a wise person does.”

Wise people are straight talkers. I like to use the term they shoot from the hip. They’re not hiding anything. They’re just telling you truth, but they’re telling it to you in love, in the right way.

Now, do we mess up in this area all the time? Yes, we do. This is where we fall on our face more than any other part of what we guard against.

We say things when we’re tired, we’re aggravated, something happened and we start talking and then later on we say, “Why did I say that?”

Guard What You See (Proverbs 4:25)

That person never deserves what I just said to them.” See, to guard yourself, to guard your post is no easy task. And that’s what God calls us to in order to keep the fifth commandment that we’re watching our words.

But then in verse 25, notice to guard in what you see. Verse 25: “Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.” In other words, the eyes are synonymous to the direction and the decision of your heart.

Are you going to make a wrong choice on this or are you going to make a right choice on this?

That the youth should have in a sense tunnel vision, that their eyes must be fixed on the wise path.

And the perceptive person looks straight ahead and sees the potential dangers and runs everything through the grid of wisdom in scripture and fixes their gaze on the goal and allows nothing to turn them aside.

“The youth should have tunnel vision — their eyes must be fixed on the wise path.”

And what is the goal?

The goal is that living by wisdom brings its own reward of a full qualitative life that is rich and meaningful and fulfilled and the promise that keeping the divine precepts issues in the prolongation of life and the preservation of health, mental health, emotional health and oftentimes affects your physical health.

That’s what it does. The wear and tear on the constitution and the spirit are minimized because of the general prosperity and well-being of a person who pursues God’s wisdom.

They keep themselves out of a lot of trouble.

But they know that there’s trouble and they say, “I don’t want that trouble in my life.” Because they thought about it. They recognized it. The light illuminated it.

See, we all need this kind of wisdom.

Guard Where You Go (Proverbs 4:26-27)

But there’s one last thing in our passage in Proverbs 4:26-27. It says this: “Guard, be guarded in where you go and who you go with. Who you want to imitate. It says, ‘Watch the path of your feet.’” In other words, the place where you actually put your feet should reveal your plans of action.

If you put your feet in the wrong place and you should not be there, it’s revealing something else going on inside your heart. And you really don’t want that.

To watch really means to utterly weigh the scales. The idea is weighing up one’s course of action. Or another way of saying it, you scrutinize your own action.

So what’s the conclusion in verse 26?

Here’s the conclusion. The result of maintaining a diligent state of readiness is that all your ways will be established. That is, you’ll be firm.

You will, as a result of picking the way very carefully, have firm ground under your feet. The preparation of the way also involves removal of that which would prevent you from getting and reaching wisdom’s destination. And that’s why it says in verse 27 of Proverbs 4: do not turn to the right or to the left.

“As a result of picking the way very carefully, you’ll have firm ground under your feet.”

Turn your foot from evil. If you turn to the right, that is evil. If you turn to the left, that is evil.

Stay on the narrow path. And in the narrow path that is plain, it will be a solid way to live your life.

It will be secured because you accept it and put into practice the wisdom that has been taught to you by your God-fearing parents, by your God-fearing teachers, and by God himself.

Conclusion: Honoring Parents Starts in the Heart

Honoring parents starts with a heart attitude of respect. Your ears are attentive to their instruction and ultimately to God’s instruction.

When you honor your parents, it shows that you have guarded your heart.

“Honoring parents starts with a heart attitude of respect — it shows you have guarded your heart.”

You want to stay true to what you have learned because at any time it could be laid aside, and that’s what you don’t want.

Closing Prayer

Amen. Let’s pray.

Father, thank you today for your kindness to us in teaching us the word of God and having it in our hand.

Lord, I pray that you would give discernment and wisdom to the mothers and fathers here today as we honor them when they carry out your precepts and your word. You put them in that position for a reason, but that position carries great responsibility.

I pray, Lord, that you would keep them close to you in your word so that they would learn how to live wisely. If at this point they’ve made foolish decisions and walked on foolish paths and followed foolish people, I pray that would change today.

I pray for young people as they prepare to go out from their home to college and to different work and different places. Lord, may they not desire at all to lay aside what you taught them just because someone comes and tempts them with some exciting adventure or some money-making scheme that sounds too good to be true, which usually is not.

Lord, may nothing lead them away from following the narrow way. Give mothers wisdom to hold true to the word of God so they see the character of their children develop in an honoring way. May they see respect towards authority and inner attitudes that are conscientious of things going on, that they’re aware, and that they don’t want to go the way of sin.

Even if that sin was prevalent in their family, may they not want to go that way anymore. May they see it as wrong and evil. I pray, Lord, protect the children today from all the information they’re getting bombarded with from all kinds of people, many of them very foolish.

I pray, Lord, you would help them to know the difference between what a fool is, what a naive person is, what a scoffer is, and what a wise person is. I pray they would always choose the wise person.

Lord, take this message and work it into our hearts and lives. If we have to change some things, rearrange some things, or confess some things before you, do that so you would make us what we ought to be. I pray this all today in Christ’s name. Amen.

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