In this seventh lesson of the Biblical Counseling 101 class, Pastor Dave Capoccia looks at two frequently misunderstood topics that are so important in the process of biblical change: guilt and repentance.
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all right well let’s get started good morning good morning welcome to sunday school and our seventh lesson in the biblical counseling 101 class why do i do what i do and how can i change let me pray as we begin heavenly father thank you so much for this time to dwell on important matters of sanctification we thank you that you are doing the work and yet you use us not only our own inner person in our personal sanctification but also you use this to help one another be sanctified so equip us convict us encourage us this morning help me to be able to explain well in jesus name amen all right so before we get into today’s lesson let’s talk about your homework so last time i gave you a booklet to read through and the reason i gave you a physical copy is because i want this to be a resource for you in the future but you were to read through besides reading the bible and praying every day i hope you have taken that discipline seriously if you keep saying i’ll get to it i’ll get to it you need to repent of that because this is a very necessary discipline for your life and actually even jay adams talks about that a little bit so what are some observations or questions you had from reading this booklet from jay adams let me hear yeah rose yes that’s a great observation rose just bringing out what jay adams observed that we want to become instant instant uh instant perfection we want instant uh victory over all our temptations and sins and that’s not just true of sanctification but i think we view that view a lot of things in life that way we want everything to happen immediately but that’s not the way god designed the world you go to proverbs and it’s the fool who’s looking for things to be instant and that’s why he cuts corners that’s why he goes into sin and he pays the penalty for it but the wise person does that diligent disciplined overtime work and then reaps the benefit and that’s certainly true for sanctification what else yeah april i mean i’m sorry glenda okay so two observations there one i’m glad that you brought that out uh glenda the oh and i just lost my train of thought i’m sorry can you repeat the first part of it again yes have it have it have it yes bringing out that we habits really matter for us but they are a gift that can be used for good or for bad you train yourself in ways of thinking and ways of acting that can be helpful and or helpful or not helpful good or evil and that’s why it is important the second part of what you’re observing glenda that we get into the word even to the deeper things of the word so that we can train ourselves train our minds and even train our lives toward godliness but another aspect of that is practice right i think about this even for evangelism we want to be instant experts in evangelism but guess what that’s not going to happen you’re going to especially when you’re just beginning to pursue faithful evangelism you’re not going to do it perfectly but you’ll get better as you practice and so it is with so many things in the christian life you have to practice it you have to endure if you want to grow and the word has a central part in that but if you give up as soon as it gets hard well you’re being faithless before the lord and you’re really harming yourself let me hear something else i think jay you had raised your hand yes so jay bring out more about needing time to establish a habit and this is kind of an interesting intersection of psychology and the bible right not everything in psychology is bad and one of the things that psychologists have observed is that it takes a certain amount of time to establish a habit jay mentioned two different timelines i’m not exactly sure what the exact number is but a certain number of days a certain number of weeks and then it becomes a habit and then more days it becomes something you don’t even think about something really established in your life okay that’s exactly what the bible says right we train ourselves in righteousness we train ourselves in unrighteousness and what’s really important and jay you mentioned that kind of brought this back to my mind there’s a fundamental difference in the paths we are faced with moment by moment in our lives the path of righteousness in the path of sin the past of righteousness is hard in the beginning but it gets easier over time and you get the blessing of it the path of sin is easy in the beginning but it gets harder over time you reap the negative results of that so it really is an act of faith to pursue a righteous habit it’s going to be especially hard for you in the beginning if particularly so if you have trained yourself in unrighteousness i tell this to men who are struggling with immorality or pornography it’s going to be extra hard for you in the beginning to turn away from that but if you persevere in that it will get easier and you’ll be able to walk as god has actually called you to walk in faithfulness and self-control that’s true for really any sin or righteousness habit these are some good observations one other thing i wanted to bring out because somebody had asked this question to me at the end of the last class is i talked about the hard work the even the battling of sanctification the discipline of it but practically what does that look like when i say we have to do the hard work of sanctification relying on the holy spirit but we have to do it what what is that practically what is that now j adams brings out part of it it includes the means of grace you actually need to discipline yourself to read the word and pray and fellowship with believers and go to church and pay attention to the sermon that is part of it but another part of it is that attitude of what’s the word i’m looking for oh the attitude of self-denial you must embrace that attitude so that when you encounter a temptation or a trial you endure you don’t just look for the easy way out you say oh you know it’s just too hard i’m just going to give in and repent later that is not going to establish a disciplined habit in your life instead you must do the hard internal work of enduring first by disciplining your thoughts saying i’m not going to keep thinking about this because i know this leads me down towards anxiety or depression or anger or whatever it is i’m going to think about what is good and this is what the bible calls us to do right set your minds on things above not the things of the earth and also think about what is true and lovely and praiseworthy as philippians 4 says i’m going to discipline my mind not to think about evil things but to think about good things i’m going to dwell on what is helpful i’m not going to yield to that temptation i’m going to endure as long as it takes again going back to rose’s observation we want the quick victory the quick fix but that that doesn’t happen that’s not the way life is god says endure stand firm in the evil day having done everything you will be able to stand if you put on the armor of god if you take hold of his promises and take hold of the gospel you discipline yourself mentally you are willing to endure and you do whatever you can in your life to assist you in pursuing god jesus talks about if your right hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it from you or if your right eye causes you to sin gouge it out and throw it from you if you’re going to do the hard work of sanctification you don’t you don’t say to yourself what’s the bare minimum if that’s what you’re saying then you are not going to succeed because it’s not important to you if you see it as important before god god is worth it fellowship with him is worth it the sanctification is absolutely necessary for my life then instead of saying what’s the bare minimum you’re going to say what how can i go all out to overcome this temptation to overcome this sin habit and walk on holiness before the lord it’s a totally different mindset so you say i’m going to get rid of that that thing in my life or i’m going to adjust the way i approach this relationship or i’m going to start memorizing this scripture these are all very practical things you do because you’ve embraced that attitude of this is important and i need to go all out when you do those things that’s the hard work of sanctification and over time it reaps it reaps the fruit of peace the blessing of walking with the lord there’s a reward in that jesus says the bible says you’ve got to believe that god will reward you for following him this is a faith-fueled effort this is a joy set before you kind of effort but it does take discipline so i hope you appreciated that exhortation from jay adams and i wonder if any of you memorized the scriptures that i gave as extra credit can anybody give me any of those scriptures yeah april okay i’m not sure which translation that is but i think oh king james sure yeah so proverbs 4 23 very good and luke 6 45 i’ll do that one so the good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good but the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil for out of the heart what the mouth speaks and then james 4 1. anyone know that one what is the source of oh go ahead i think you got the first part of it yeah so and i think you might be using the king king james yeah so i have the new american standard what is the source of quals and conflicts among you is it not the pleasures that wage war among your members it’s the things you value in the inside it’s the desires and treasures of your heart that’s where your quarrels and conflicts come from that’s where my quarrels and conflicts from come from of course those are all related to what we talked about last time now let’s talk about the new homework continue reading the bible and praying if you’re not doing that you need to do that but i actually have a different kind of assignment when it comes to our main assignment we’re not going to do some reading of an article or a booklet but i want you to complete this bible study i just put it uh together on this worksheet one page you say oh you know one page that should be easy well you’ve got a number of passages to read so it’s probably an equivalent amount of reading but rather than making simple observations and questions i want you to complete the questions that i have here and they all have to do with what’s really going on in these biblical persons hearts and whether they’ve truly repented so i want you to complete this make sure you give enough time for that and then the second assignment is more memory verses and they are connected to what we’re going to be talking about today you say you know what’s the what’s the good of doing memory verses these are the things that are going to assist you in your sanctification treasure this word in your heart and it will it will be an aid to you in your spiritual battle all right but let’s actually get into today’s lesson which is oh wait i did have one other thing i want to talk about someone asked the question related to last lesson which is what is the difference between good desires permissible desires and idolatrous desires you desire to do well at work is that coveting if you desire to get married is that idolatry what’s the difference well in some ways that’s a that’s a great question no not in some ways in many ways that’s a great question but in some ways it’s a simple question it all has to do with your contentment a desire is fine but are you okay without that desire being fulfilled you want to get married fine but if god says no or if god says not yet are you okay with that if you are then that is non-idolatrous desire but if you’re not you have proceeded into idolatry you have to have that attitude of lord i desire this but your will be done if you can say that in your heart then you’re still worshiping the lord you’re content but when you say god i really desired this and if you don’t do it i’m not going to be happy i’m not going to be content that’s something you need to repent of you’re over valuing something some treasure in the world and you’ve you’ve devalued the lord he’s enough and he says i have given everything in your life exactly as would be good for you so you can trust me it is good for us to bring our desires to the lord and some of these can be pretty deep god my marriage is just so painful for me right now please can you change my spouse and god might say not yet you need to grow you need to grow in your patience and endurance and your faith in me and so your heart needs to be able to say god please do this but your will be done i’m committed to following you no matter what you choose and jesus says if that’s your attitude then you will find refreshment for your soul and me so are you okay without it and do you want it for the right reasons that’s that explains a lot of what is the difference between a fine desire and an idolatrous desire okay hopefully that didn’t take too much of the lesson time today but that was good um good introductory material let’s talk about today’s topic originally i said guilt repentance and forgiveness but that was too much to talk about in one day so we’re just going to do guilt and repentance we’ll do forgiveness next time these are very related concepts they have a lot to do with what we’ve talked about before and you can see there’s kind of a chronological sequence to them guilt repentance and then forgiveness next time as a little introduction i think this is a very fitting meme for today’s world and even today’s class you keep using that word i do not think it means what you think it means and there are many terms today that are used in such a way that they’ve been stretched or distorted or altogether redefined from their original meaning or even their biblical meaning terms like justice or tolerance or gender and marriage and i’m sure many others this problem was also true for the terms that we’ll be talking about today and next time terms that are central to the process of the biblical process of change and we start by talking about guilt you ever felt guilty what does that feel like can anyone tell me yeah glenda okay you’re filled with regret what else okay there’s a sense of shame is it a good feeling it’s a terrible feeling it’s an agonized feeling and you see this depicted in lots of famous works of literature and and film someone who is just overcome with guilt they want to get out of themselves they want to escape they want to be clean but you know what they can’t or at least a lot of times it seems like they can’t guilt is a terrible feeling the feeling of guilt is rather agonizing and no one likes to feel guilty in our society our materialistic secularized psychologized society is committed to relieving us from the feelings of guilt almost without any cost whatever whatever we have to do so that you don’t feel guilty anymore we’re gonna do that when someone mentioned shame what’s the difference between guilt and shame in many ways they overlap but guilt is more inward oriented shame is more outward oriented inward standard i didn’t fulfill outward standard i didn’t fulfill yeah worldly wisdom and you can see this is a point in your hand now worldly wisdom cannot properly deal with guilt or its associated negative feelings let me ask you how do the people of the world try to deal with the feeling of guilt what are some ways yeah april excuses right some version of rationalization excuses blame shifting i’m a victim i’m not really the one at fault or somebody who’s trying to assist you you’re a victim you’re not really at fault what else okay some sort of pleasurable distraction and it could be alcohol it could be drugs it could just be fun things what else yeah dwayne yeah so dwayne bringing out the idea that there’s almost a a doubling down on the thing that made us guilty don’t feel bad about it celebrate it pursue it more and that is sometimes the advice if you feel guilty about a certain thing or a certain sin just do it more until you don’t feel guilty about it and let’s even celebrate it and we see that with lgbtq issues sometimes uh the solution is chemical hey you’ve got these you got this anxiety or this this sorrow associated with guilt let’s give you something that’ll calm you down we’ll give you some pills or self-esteem yeah you made a mistake here but you’re still a good person let me tell you about how great you are you need to think about how good you are and other things now these are not always effective sometimes they can temporarily lessen or distract from the feeling of guilt but they don’t deal with it ultimately sometimes they just intensify the guilt temporarily cover it but then you come back to it and you’re like i feel worse than ever guilt is a very a very difficult feeling but the truth is you cannot deal with the feeling of guilt until you’ve dealt with the fact of guilt and biblically speaking guilt is a fact rather than feeling guilt is a fact rather than a feeling you do a word study of the word guilt in the bible you’ll see that the word is always used to refer to the legal status of someone who has done something wrong this is not about a feeling it is about a state a legal state before god or before a governmental law because guilt really is the fact of violating a legal standard and of deserving punishment this is guild biblically defined now in english we use the word guilt to refer both to the fact of deserving punishment for something wrong and the negative feeling that is associated with it when you think you deserve punishment now the bible talks about the feeling of guilt too but in a different way biblically speaking this latter feeling is called a bothered conscience or a bad conscience what is the conscience the conscience is just part of our inner man you could even say it is our inner man as we’re made in the image of god god imprinted in our inner man a certain knowledge about his character and law and then he gave us a faculty or ability to detect how we ourselves line up with god and his law his standard this ability this faculty we’ve come to call conscience now interestingly there’s no hebrew word for conscience at least in the bible though the old testament does describe the inner man as a whole working to report guilt by negative feelings a good example of this in first samuel 24 5. this is when david cuts off the edge of saul’s robe and it says it came about afterward that david’s conscience bothered him because he had cut off the edge of saul’s robe say hey that’s conscience in hebrew well that’s just the translation trying to help us literally the hebrew here is david’s heart caused him to be struck that’s the same thing that we talk about when it comes to conscience it’s the inner man’s analyzing ability saying you deviated from the standard psalm 32 and psalm 51 further describe the painful inner man experience of someone who has not yet not yet dealt rightly with his sin before god now the new testament the greek of the new testament does does have a word for conscience it’s the word tsunade suneidesus tsunedisus rather and it literally means a knowing with it refers to the human ability to know and evaluate oneself especially morally and this evaluation doesn’t always have to be negative many new testament verses actually talk about somebody having a clear conscience or a good conscience conscient that says you’re doing right but whatever the judgment of our individual conscience is we all have one and its effect is evident across all times and places in the world just as romans 2 says now the conscience is generally helpful but it is not perfect our inner evaluation ability can be misinformed it can be distorted it can even be deadened or seared this is one of the things that is so true about false teachers they have seared their consciences a person therefore may not feel guilty when he is in fact guilty or contrarily a person may feel guilty about something that is actually good and permitted by god and this is an issue that comes up in counseling a lot how then should we help someone struggling with either guilt or the lack of guilt in his conscience well again we cannot properly deal with the feeling of guilt until we’ve dealt with the fact of guilt which means that first of all we must not under emphasize or overemphasize to a person his guilt must not under emphasize or over emphasize a person’s guilt rather we must tell them what the bible says we must apply the truth of the gospel to a person and to his state before god on the one hand we cannot minimize or excuse any person’s sins all people are factually guilty before god because of sin romans 3 23 and each specific sin that we do either cries out for justice or pardon from god furthermore god is a holy god and he will judge in his infinite justice and anger all sin even what we consider small sins respectable sins they bring us under the curse and wrath of god or as a believer the the discipline of god and that temporarily breach of fellowship so in both counseling and evangelism we need people to see the fact of their guilt and god’s coming chastening on them we need to load their consciences with that truth so that they’re bothered this is the bad news of the gospel but there’s good news too right we must not under emphasize guilt but on the other hand we must not over emphasize it because god hasn’t made a way for people to be set free from guilt and from the punishment of guilt and what’s that way it is faith and repentance in jesus christ that’s actually the last blank there but that is the only proper way to deal with guilt it is faith and repentance in jesus christ the way to be free is not penance it is not by doing a whole bunch of good works to make up for the bad works or by suffering a certain amount of pain this is something you see in religions all over the world this is how they try to deal with guilt penance that’s never enough and a lot of people confess i never feel like i’m clean that’s why or it’s because god did not decree that that would be the way you’d be set free from the fact or the feeling of guilt rather it is by justification god has decreed that justification being pronounced not guilty and righteous before god it only comes through christ only comes through christ not your own works so we must direct guilt guilty counselees to faith and repentance clarifying for them that christ really does deal with sin once and for all the repentant sinner is forgiven washed welcomed into the presence of god he’s not a prodigal who maybe can work his way back into his father’s good graces after a thousand years he’s immediately brought in upon repentance into the banquet and he’s fully restored that’s true for each one of us first john 1 9 says if we confess our sins he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness it’s a matter of god’s faithfulness and justice if he didn’t do this if he didn’t welcome us back then he would be unfaithful because christ has accomplished everything for our restoration therefore romans 8 1 says there is now no condemnation for those who are in christ jesus this is the glorious truth that we want to communicate we want to inculcate to those who are struggling under the weight of guilt before god quick aside a lot of people struggle with assurance assurance of salvation it’s important that as we communicate these truths that we do not try to give those people assurance ourselves we don’t tell them you’re saved i know you’re saved don’t question that you don’t know that all you can tell them is what the bible says which is if you really believe in christ and if you’ve repented of your sin then you’re saved the spirit will bring about that assurance as they proceed in faith and repentance that’s not your job you just tell them the truth you direct them towards faith and repentance if you try and give assurance you might give assurance to somebody who doesn’t really deserve it because ultimately you can’t see what’s going on in another person’s heart don’t tell them necessarily you know that they’re not saved all you can do is look at the fruit say this is what your life shows suggests but assurance ultimately has to come from god’s spirit we direct him to faith and repentance and let the lord do the rest now what about when even after faith and repentance a person’s conscience still accuses them you heard the first part we must not under emphasize or overemphasize guilt but secondly we must also help them and help ourselves inform and regard our consciences rightly we need to help inform and regard our consciences rightly i have to understand that conscience is a great gift from god the conscience warns us when we are in a dangerous state of guilt so that we seek the proper remedy from christ it’s like a pain or it is like the pain mechanisms of our body nobody likes to experience pain you accidentally hammer your thumb or stub your toe you get this report of pain in your body it’s very unpleasant but the fact that we sometimes experience pain is good often good because your body is telling you that something is wrong hey i’m injured or there’s some sickness in me i’m going to report this to you by pain do something about it that’s a gift from god and it’s very much like what our consciences do it’s like an internal pain mechanism a pain mechanism of the inner man telling you that something is wrong spiritually and it needs to be addressed now this analogy extends further because sometimes our bodies can get confused and report pain when there’s nothing physically wrong but the fact that our bodies do this is itself an indication that something is wrong the pain mechanism the pain reporting mechanism needs addressing something’s wrong in that level so it is with our consciences a bothered conscience always means that something is wrong you’ve entered some kind of dangerous guilt situation either because you’ve in fact done something or said something or thought something against god and his law you’ve actually done something wrong or because you think you have which is itself wrong romans 14 23 the second half of romans 14 23 in a discussion of various convictions in the church that are not necessarily right or wrong keeping the sabbath eating food sacrifice to idols or eating what’s considered unclean foods it says whatever is not from faith the sin it’s not wrong if you eat these ceremonially unclean foods but if you feel it’s wrong then it’s sin for you whatever is not from faith is sin even if something is permitted by god we must not go against our consciences and act against what we believe to be right to violate our consciences not only goes against scripture which commands us not to but it’s dangerous it works to sear and dead in our consciences which makes further sin all the easier to pursue that’s again a characteristic of false teachers and apostate christians they’ve deadened their consciences so when we encounter somebody whose conscience is still bothering them after faith and repentance could be a few reasons why that why that is it could be because the repentance was false it wasn’t complete and the heart knows it and that’s why it still bothers the person it could be they truly want to repent but they they don’t embrace the positive side of it they don’t actually believe in god’s full forgiveness for their sins oh yes yes i’m turning from the sin but i still don’t think god could accept me you need to believe what the bible actually says it also could be because that person has an overactive conscience that is condemning them for something that is not wrong and how do we help the person with an overactive or misinformed conscience we help we want to help properly inform and train the conscience with the truth of god’s word conscience always operates according to the facts known and believed in the inner man this is why a conscience may sometimes vindicate actions which are actually evil or condemn actions that are actually good this is also why paul proclaimed that he served god with a clean conscience but he wasn’t acquitted by on that basis because he says i my conscience could still be wrong ultimately i have to submit before god and what his word says whatever my conscience tells me this is true for all of us we must ultimately subject ourselves and our consciences to god’s revealed word and by doing so over time we will train our consciences into what god’s standard actually is this goes back to i think a little bit of what glenda was sharing earlier hebrews 5 14 says in reference to the food of god’s word but solid food is for the mature who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil you may say oh but i’ve sinned so many times in this way i don’t even feel bad about it anymore well submit yourself to god’s word practice righteousness take in this truth so that you can train your conscience in what is good once again you can rebuild it it’ll take time but also for the things that you feel that are bad that are not bad well continue submitting yourself to god’s word listen to what it says believe it and your conscience will be freed up the key though is we must wait for a consciousness to be clear before proceeding if we say oh you know the bible says this but i still feel it’s wrong i’m just going to go with what the bible says we could be doing dangerous damage to ourselves obviously the bible commands you to do something and your conscience says no well it’s a little bit of a different issue we need to speedily train that conscience because you you can’t neglect the command of god but for something that is permitted not necessarily commanded don’t do it until your conscience says that’s good that’s fine bottom line is faith in christ and repentance from sin are the only true solution to guilt both the fact and the feeling and if someone is struggling with guilt you’re gonna have to you’re gonna have to help them with both faith and repentance and repentance is usually the part that needs extra special attention because like guilt many today misunderstand repentance and that’s our second topic let’s talk about repentance now worldly wisdom certainly provides many false or incomplete substitutes for real repentance i already mentioned penance that’s one excuses and rationalizations that are another apologies mere apologies and confessions that’s a substitute too i’m sorry that this happened i made a mistake sometimes people think that’s repentance or expressions of sorrow look he’s crying he’s crying about what he did he must be repentant or an expression of a new commitment you’re right i shouldn’t have spoken to you that way i’m gonna do i’m gonna do differently from now on is that repentance these things all by themselves they are actually not repentance and they do not bring release from guilt real repentance is lasting change from the inside to the outside a good biblical definition of repentance is it is a change of heart leading to a change in action change of heart leading to a change in action in the old testament the hebrew word for repent is shuv and it means to turn or to return in the new testament there are two greek words for repent epistle which also means to turn and metana which means to change one’s mind combining those together you can see that repentance is an inner man change that leads to a turning in the outer man also it’s a turning in inner man that leads to returning in the honor man a turning of your whole life even now when it comes to both salvation and sanctification a person must fundamentally change his mind has to change his mind about god yes it changes mind about the false idols that he treasures is it change of mind about sin he’s to change his mind about himself that’s what repentance is a person must embrace a totally new direction deep within a 180 degree turn from sin and idolatry to god and righteousness and without this kind of total heart and life change there is no salvation we already talked before about that wrong idea of you can take jesus as savior but later take him as lord or you don’t have to take him as lord that’s not biblical repentance is a change of heart that leads to a change of life and it’s not there you’re not saved and if you’re a believer if you are a saved christian and you fall into sin you will not have restoration of blessed fellowship with god or others until you actually change your heart until your heart embraces a totally new direction jesus summed up his salvation call and mark 1 15 with this simple message mark 1 15 the time is fulfilled and the kingdom of god is at hand repent and believe in the gospel this is fundamental to salvation and sanctification it is as i said before a necessary lifestyle of ongoing repentance for the believer realizing we’re in sin and changing to walk anew that’s what a true believer does and this is what we help one another do this is not merely individual this is corporate luke 17 3 says luke 17 3 be on your guard if your brother sins rebuke him and if he repents forgive him sin and repentance are expected in the body of christ we should be helping one another to repent we are to encourage we are to confront we are to entreat one another as necessary to turn from sin and to turn back to god and this will almost always be necessary in biblical counseling it’s usually something your counseling needs to repent of which means you’re going to have to explain to him probably him or her what repentance is and why it’s necessary now i’ve given you kind of a an overall view of repentance and even connects with some of the things we said last time but let’s drill down a little further biblical repentance can be further described and delineated from false repentance by attention to four aspects four aspects that are always present in true and so liberating repentance and these points and the supporting passages they’re the same ones that i brought out in a sermon i preached in january on repentance so if they sound familiar to you that’s why i think these are still helpful what are four aspects of repentance that are always present in true repentance number one a change in your understanding that leads to confession a change in understanding leading to confession if you are genuinely repentant then it you will change how you think based on what god’s word says change how you think about god yourself and your sin you will hammer the ghetto about that sin in your heart alma lego is the greek word for confess and it literally means to say the same thing in repentance you will say the same thing in your mind in your heart as god does about your sin a good example of this is the beginning of david psalm 51.
psalm 51 verses 1 to 4 you can open to that passage it could be useful for you to see for yourself the title of the psalm says for the choir director a psalm of david when nathan the prophet came to him after he’d gone into bathsheba listen to what david says about his sin be gracious to me oh god according to your loving kindness according to the greatness of your compassion and blot out my transgressions wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin for i know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me against you you only i have sinned and done what is evil in your sight so that you are justified when you speak and blameless when you judge we won’t analyze this passage in depth but you can see pretty quickly that david understands the magnitude of his sin before god david knows he has transgressed god’s good commands like a criminal he has perverted god’s way polluted what is good by his iniquity he has missed the mark big time of what it means to know and follow god that’s what sin is and david clearly deserves the just punishment of god he says you’re blameless when you judge me i deserve it so what does david need from god doesn’t want to be judged so what does he need mercy needs merciful cleansing and forgiveness from god which he receives god promises that to those who are repentant david receives it by faith and repentance nathan the prophet even told david that in the history books he says god has taken away your sin but notice that repentance starts with changed thinking and accurate understanding of sin the confession begins in david’s heart and it extends outwards verbally confessing his sin before others especially those he sinned against i mean that’s what this psalm is it is a public confession of his sin before israel and a memorial of god’s forgiving grace we must follow this same pattern of inwardly confessing before god what our sin is and then outwardly confessing to those we’ve sinned against and to those who help keep us accountable james 5 16 says james 5 16 therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed the effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much this is the one the extra credit verses so we should be confessing our sin as a as a mark of our changed understanding we should be outwardly confessing but note not all sin can or should be confessed to everyone for example if a young man lust after a woman in his heart he shouldn’t later then go and confess to that woman that he had lusted after her as part of his repentance that’s not necessary and that’s not edifying it’s just going to totally creep her out but if you sin in such a way that others witness your sin or they’ve been substantively harmed by it part of your repentance must include confession to them you need to go and say i have sinned against god and against you in this way and i know what my sin is i’m not going to make excuses for it it is worthy of blame there’s no excuse for what i’ve done this kind of confession it glorifies god it edifies others and helps keep you accountable and so it’s something that we should be doing together now confession is not all that repentance is some people do just stop at confession and think they’ve repented but that’s not true but repentance does include confession what else is a true and necessary aspect of repentance number two a change in emotions a change in emotions leading to sorrow and zeal and there’s a there’s a bit of a sequence to this as well if you really understand what your sin and idolatry is before god and others you will be emotionally affected if you really understand what your sin is it will affect your emotions you will feel a godly sorrow and a renewed zeal to love and obey god we see a good description of this in second corinthians seven please take your bibles go to second corinthians 7 verses 8 to 11.
this is what paul wrote to the corinthians after he heard that they had repented of sins they had done against him second corinthians 7 verses 8 to 11 listen to what he says about their repentance for though i called you sorrow by my letter this letter confronting them i do not regret it though i did regret it for i see that the letter caused you sorrow though only for a while i now rejoice not that you were made sorrowful but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance for you were made sorrowful according to the will of god so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us for the sorrow that is according to the will of god produces a repentance without regret leading to salvation but the sorrow of the world produces death for behold what earnestness this very thing this godly sorrow has produced in you what vindication of yourselves what indignation what fear what longing would zeal with avenging of wrong and everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter there’s a lot we can say about this verse but we’ll just focus on a few things notice that paul distinguishes fundamentally here between two types of sorrow over sin a worldly sorrow and a godly sorrow both of these are real sorrow let’s make sure we understand that and they can both have very tearful emotional displays but only one is part of true repentance and that’s the godly sorrow godly sorrow is god centered the grief is primarily about what the sin means and has done to god and to others before god godly sorrow may also grieve at the personal consequences of sin but they are not their primary concern i can’t believe i have sinned against such a good god i can’t believe i’ve i’ve acted so evil to the people that god has given around me that’s godly sorrow’s chief concern godly sorrow then leads to a change in the heart and life without regret he says this is so terrible before god i’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it up whatever treasures have to be given up so be it whatever consequences must be suffered so be it i’m turning from this sin and i’m turning back to god i say make it up not in the sense that you work your way back to god but to make things right a person is glad to give up his sin if he can have god again if he can please god again there’s a palpable zeal that comes from godly sorrow and is willing to do whatever it takes to restore those who have been hurt and offended that’s what the corinthians were doing for paul he says look i see it that’s so encouraging to me thus the sorrow of true repentance ultimately leads to salvation this is the mark of someone who’s saved but worldly sorrow is not god-centered but man-centered and the heart is never really changed from whatever idolatry was serving in sin thus godly sorrow is full of regret regret about not being able to enjoy that sin or that idol anymore regret about getting caught in the sin regret about the consequences of getting caught and regret even about the repentance itself i shouldn’t have turned from the sin i really enjoyed it it’s better than what i have now this is a worldly sorrow still worships a false idol rather than god and therefore this kind of sorrow does not lead to godliness but only further sin and ultimately death this is the kind of sorrow of someone who does not know god and will not be with him forever worldly sorrow can help reform a person for a time but the dog as proverbs says will eventually return to its vomit you gotta change the heart he needs a he can’t be a dog anymore or else he’s just gonna go back to the vomit it’s true for us too if we are truly repentant and have a real understanding of what our sin is then we should be filled with a godly sorrow and an eager zeal to see god honored again the outward visibility of the sorrow will vary but it should be there it should be evident to some degree therefore when a repentant person is confessing his sin to the ones that he has affected he should also be communicating a genuine sorrow before god and a zeal for god repentance without a change of emotions is not real repentance the heart’s not really engaged though on the flip side a mere outward display of emotion does not itself constitute repentance it’s part of repentance but it’s not all of repentance and sadly i think many of us know and certainly we see in biblical and christian history there have been plenty of people who have been very sorry about their sin who never repented they had sorrow but they didn’t have repentance that’s because there’s another necessary aspect of repentance that must accompany changes in both the understanding and the emotions and that is number three a change in will a change in will leading to commitment with the change understanding and renewed godly emotions will not be content to remain in sin but rather the soul will choose change it will commit to walking a new way and this is exactly what isaiah 55 7 describes this is another one of the extra credit verses isaiah 55 7 says this is god’s invitation to to israel let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man is thoughts and let him return to yahweh and he will have compassion on him and to our god for he will abundantly pardon notice in this verse the clear operation of will the wicked one forsakes that as he gives up he abandons he turns away from two items his previous way that is his lifestyle of behavior and his previous thoughts what he believed what he desired what he thought he no more follows those paths he no more follows the idolatrous path but instead embraces the path of god he returns to the lord doesn’t merely wish to he actually does there’s an inner commitment a new inner commitment that manifests in an outward commitment even in his verbal expression of repentance so someone who’s confessing sin to others does not merely admit what his sin really was before god or why he’s grieved about that sin to the point of repentance but he also expresses a commitment to walk anew from the heart i’m not going to live this way anymore i’m going to treat you and others differently for the lord’s sake because my heart has changed that’s the kind of statements we should be making when we repent to others but we dare not make those statements lightly you better mean what you say because there are plenty of people who commit and we know this we’ve seen this and maybe we’ve done this they commit either internally or verbally to live differently but they don’t follow through why does that happen because the heart’s not truly changed they want to reform but they’re not convinced really from the heart that they must and that they should i still go back to their sinful habits and their words ring hollow they bring shame to themselves and dishonor to the name of christ changes in understanding emotions and will must all be done together it must be a whole change of the inner man that’s what true repentance is that’s what lasting repentance is no one part can substitute for the whole to be clear of guilt your whole being your whole inner man must give up sin give up idols and return to god and when this full change of heart happens there’s always a fourth and final aspect to repentance this is technically not repentance but it is the fruit of repentance it’s always the result it is a change in behavior number four a change in behavior leading to fruit leading to good fruit repentance that does not lead to lasting change and thoughts words and actions hear this people is not real if there’s no turning in your life it’s not real repentance don’t tell me every time after you sin you’ve repented if you don’t change that’s not repentance not biblical repentance the person proclaiming such repentance is still on the path leading to god’s judgment the bible doesn’t mince words about this listen the way john the baptist describes it to would be repenters in luke 3 luke 3 verses 7 and 9 he tells some of the pharisees and legalistic minded jews you brew to vipers who warned you to flee from their wrath to come therefore bear fruits in keeping with repentance and do not begin to say to yourselves we have abraham for our father for i say to you that from these stones god is able to raise up children to abraham indeed the acts is already laid at the root of the trees so every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire dare not play games with god or with others when it comes to repentance the fruit of our lives it will reveal what’s really going on in our hearts and whether we’ve really changed true repentance always leads to new and good fruit not perfection but a characteristically righteous new way and this includes this is the last point here restitution and reconciliation where necessary in defended relationships some people only think of repentance in terms of vertical relationship with god yep just gotta make sure i’m right with god secure his forgiveness and then i’m good to move on but actually that’s not true you’re not good to move on if your repentance is real god has called you to make things right with others whatever debts you have to them and even more so we’re to be like zacchaeus when it comes to this luke 19 8 says about zacchaeus after he had believed in christ zacchaeus stopped and said to the lord behold lord half of my possessions i will give to the poor and if i have defrauded anyone of anything i will give back four times as much now he didn’t have to give back four times as much he certainly needed to restore what was taken and the old testament law would say a little bit more than that but he’s really ready to do more and we should be too in repentance you are looking to repay not only the debts you owe others but even more besides you want to honor god and show him and others that you are serious about your repentance and this makes sense right if you have a new zeal for god you don’t do the bare minimum you say i want i want to go all out i want to show this person i really am sorry i want to show god that i want to encourage them now understand that some temporal consequences of sin cannot be immediately cleared by repentance there is free and full forgiveness with god it’s true for the repentant but some physical legal relational and spiritual consequences will remain for some time on earth sometimes your sin trains you in unrighteousness sometimes you still have to pay a penalty to a secular authority sometimes you have broken and it will take a long time to rebuild the trust of those you sinned against you have to be ready for this and you have to be willing to endure the temporal consequences as part of your repentance some people aren’t they expect everything to go back just as harmonious as it was before the sin and when that doesn’t happen they give up on their repentance that’s not what we are to do and we understand yes people have a certain responsibility for how they respond to repentance but whatever they do i want to follow god i want to make things right we do whatever we can to make our relationships right again as part of repentance jesus says in matthew 5 if you’re ready to worship at the altar with an offering but you remember your brother or something against you what are you supposed to do leave your offering and go make things right then come back and worship romans 12 18 says if possible so far as it depends on you be at peace with all men you haven’t really repented if you haven’t sought to reconcile with those you’ve harmed and to make things right with them now you can’t force them to reconcile with you you can’t force them to forgive you but you can show them that you’re earnest about your repentance with tangible fruit and you know what when we do this because we’re going to sin against one another but when we actually repent and we go and seek to reconcile with those who sinned against you know what the result is usually a strengthened relationship an even more joyful and trust-filled relationship temporarily there’s a wound but as that wound heals it grows back even stronger and i think many of us can attest to this right especially in your marriages and you’ve really repented and when there’s the the true practice of forgiveness it leads to a greater blessing in relationship and a sure witness of god and his goodness the world doesn’t understand this kind of repentance this humility but it should characterize us to be abundantly clear if you think you’ve repented before god but you’ve still haven’t sought to make things right with others you have not yet repented your heart is still holding something back you need to make things right with god with both god and other people if you want god to be pleased with your worship again now ideally an expression of true repentance to others results in forgiveness the extension of forgiveness what is forgiveness and how should we as christians practice it that’s what we’ll talk about next time well the time went quickly we’ll have to close now but if you have questions come talk with me afterwards let’s pray or thank you for your word help us to be a people who deal properly with feelings of guilt and to truly repent from the heart and lord may lead to our confessing expressing sorrow expressing new commitment and bearing tangible fruit as we seek to make our relationships right with others in jesus name amen thank you