In this sermon, Pastor Joe Babij investigates Colossians 3:18-19 and Paul’s first explanation of how life as the new person in Christ should transform household relationships. The first relationship Paul considers is the marriage relationship, and Paul gives commands to both wives and husbands.
1. The Imperatives for a Transformed Wife (v. 18)
2. The Imperatives for a Transformed Husband (v. 19)
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let’s pray Lord this morning we thank you for bringing us together we thank you Lord for the Liberty that we have in Christ we thank you Lord for the word of God that gives us Clarity on how to live so Lord move out of our hearts and Minds to things that are the old part of our life and move in the new and I pray Lord the old would never get back in there so we can live out what you’re working in US that we may hope obey you Holy Spirit as you bring the word to Bear upon our mind and heart we would be listening really hearing and then taking what we heard and thinking about it considering it evaluating our own life by it and then making the needed changes that we know we have the power to do by the spirit of God in our life so Lord we can maintain that atmosphere of joy and peace that you give us and the Bible says no one’s supposed to take away and so I pray you bless us especially in this area that is so important in the church and in society and in the world itself that of marriage and I pray in Christ’s name amen so let me just bring you up to speed so far we have been learning that the new self is the born-again self it is the new creature in Christ and only the Christian only the Christian has the capacity to consider themselves dead to sin and alive to God with the ability and and really will to serve and please God so loving God’s word and loving God’s son includes hating sin with the desire to to pursue righteousness therefore salvation is not a a matter of improvement or Perfection of what had previously existed it is a matter of comprehensive transformation that when you put on the new clothes that we have been talking about in Colossians you won’t want to take them off again because you will begin to experience the fullness of the Christian Life and what is that to be like Christ that in Colossians the Apostle Paul presents us already has presented us three lists list that expose sins of attitude sins of behavior and sins of speech and as these lists buy these lists we can actually evaluate our progress in spiritual maturity and Christ’s likeness well list number one was found in chapter 3 verse number five and this is the list of sexual attitude and behavior what is that list shameful desires sexual sins impurity sins we think about that are impure lust idolatry the list is found in verse number five of chapter three and three and we are to put these things to death it says and these are and why are we to do that because these are destructive and they will destroy relationships and they will destroy churches we’re to put these off because they’re dirty and they are contaminated and they will contaminate Us in Even in our relationship with Christ second list is found in chapter 3 verse number eight nine this is the list of the sins of speech anger malicious behavior slander dirty language lying we are to rid ourselves of these things because they are relationship Breakers they are unity killers and there are peace crushers we’re to get rid of them and then there is a list number three in Colossians chapter 3 verse 12 and 13 and this is the list of the signs that you are making progress in your life and what are these particular signs of Love well Mercy kindness humility gentleness patience forgiveness the Bible tells us put these on why do we put them on because these Cape Unity they build relationships they lead to progress in spiritual maturity and Christ’s likeness and spiritual fulfillment so in other words put off the old and put on the new put on the new clean clothes clothing of course the clothing I speak of is not physical clothing but spiritual clothing the clothing that you and me are to put on are the same clothing that Jesus wore while he walked on this Earth Jesus is the model upon which we are to Fashion our daily lives the clothing that is fashionable in the kingdom of God never go out of style and then that means the mercy all the way to the Forgiveness never go out of style so believers can no longer operate on the basis of sinful desires and old passions these are all past the Apostle Peter wrote I beloved I urge you as aliens and strangers and that’s what we really are in the world as we become Christians to abstain from fleshly lust which wage war against the soul so there is an assumption here in this passage that us Believers in Christ can carry out what scripture is urging us to do that is to abstain from fleshly lust so therefore Christians are to avoid or keep themselves free from the impulses that belong to the flesh the craving of the sinful man is called the lust of the flesh that anything in the world system can become a source of sinful desire the fleshly body can be the source of sensual sensual desires and lust and these desires can extend to food and to drink into sexual gratification and Beyond desires which reach out for an object in order to find some pleasure and some satisfaction in this life the only thing is that the real satisfaction comes in Christ that the spirit is the renewed power of the new man Galatians tells us but I say walk in the spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh and as Christians we have a new nature but we also have a remaining old one in other words the new nature does not alienate the flesh so the Christian Christians have to struggle against the flesh until they enter Glory until God takes us out again Galatians 5 17 says for the flesh sets is its desires against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh for these are in opposition to one another so there is a Warfare have you experienced it yet between the new man the spiritual and the old man the flesh however the war is not a war between our souls and our bodies because our physical body is not inherently evil we are to have a counter Warfare is really necessary against the inner Rebel in our heart and be sure of this that the in word sinful desires continually wage spiritual battle against this spiritual soul of the believer so then the rebel voice needs to be turned down to a faint mutter and the spirit’s voice speaking through the word of God needs to become consistently stronger and louder and the flesh must be weakened and the spirit must be strengthened so then the Christian first undresses himself and herself with old clothing of the old clothing and disposes of the stench riddled sin contaminated clothing in order to dress himself herself suitably that the Christian now is ready for their journey through this life and I believe that all that in Colossians comes before the passage of scriptures we’re going to look at this morning you must be doing these things if these other things are going to take place so the Christian is now ready we’re ready to be introduced to the last week the threefold need to plot along successfully to make progress and what were those in verse number 15 Let the Peace of Christ rule in your heart and the Peace of Christ brings unity and the Peace of Christ also upholds thankfulness in The Believer and remember a Believer who is thankful because all these things are talking about living a transformed life in the life of other people in the life of the church with other people and so that means that a grad a heart Philip with gratitude to God uh know that knows that they’re called by God will extend to their fellow Believers and people themselves the grace of love and forgiveness and to put aside Petty issues that might inhibit any expression of Peace within a community or in a family so that’s the first thing the second priority for progress is to let the word of God dwell verse number 16 let the word of Christ richly dwell within you and of course this is the message that proclaims Christ in other words put the message about Christ at the center of everything and let that message take permanent residence in your heart so that it will issue in a transforming power not only in your your own life but in the life of the community and how does that happen in verse number 16 by teaching all right as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom Psalms hymns and songs of the spirit teaching remember is the positive presentation and proclamation of Christian truth it’s implanting the truth in your mind God always implants the truth in your mind first right to push out what’s in there the wrong ways of thinking and deciding things and he puts in your mind the truth it’s not your personal opinions they must bow to the Christ’s words and it’s not your personal feelings we seem to live in a very feeling driven Society that even your feelings must yield to what Christ says it’s not even your personal ideas they must also be adjusted by God’s word so that’s the teaching part of it and then there’s the admonishing in verse number 16 and as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom admonishing remember digs out the error it gives warning about the danger of straying from the truth and it gives an instruction that’s put into the Mind regarding belief and behavior they go together you can’t say one thing and do another opposite of what you’re saying they go together that’s what the spirit of God’s doing he’s making your belief line up with your life so when we in our gathered worship we need to be teaching admonishing one another so the word of Christ has central place in our life in our worship uh in everything we do that it would dwell richly within our hearts the core of our being our emotions our intellect our volition would be drenched with the word of Christ until it it takes residence in your heart and your mind until it fills up every nook and cranny every corner of your being and controls your thinking and then your actions come from that so as our life becomes more like Christ we find ourselves constantly repeating and rejoicing over the truths of scripture and this means that the object and focus of a word-filled person is not themselves or their problems they are occupied with spiritual spiritual things meditating upon in the enjoyment of those things and they have a Joy inside of them that is expressed outwardly in Fellowship to family and to Brethren and when the focus of the believer is heart is the Lord then Christian Joy will be present it will be present in our hearts and this is the spirit of God it’s producing and if of course it says there by Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and this singing is to God first and then it’s coupled with gratitude I’m so overly thankful about what God has done in my life that he’s saved me he opened up my eyes he convicted me of sin and led me to himself to know that I can’t do anything to save myself he did it all and by faith I trust in him when I and you realize that that should only produce Joy because all of it is done by God God is the initiate initiator of our Salvation not us God is but when we understand that say wow God reached out to me who am I I’m nobody right and God did that and so that produces gratitude in your heart and of course when you’re filled with the message that proclaims Christ in that way it shows up in your conduct in everyday living so scripture concludes that these expectations will be the Touchstone of Christian conduct and make the test of what is right and wrong very clear to the believer that we are to live so the name of Christ prevails and that’s in verse number 17 where we left off last time it says and whatever you do in word or deed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks through him to God the father so to do all in the name of Jesus means that we act with his approval and show him to others in everything including what we say and what we do this shows what it means to Bear the name of Jesus Christ and remember the name of the Lord does stand for his person it stands for his character it stands for his will what he wants for you so we Christians should act in concert with the nature and the character or of God in other words as scripture says we’re being transformed into the image of Christ and we’re living that way not remember it’s not a perfect thing but it’s a progress so in this section of Colossians we’re going to look at this morning it refers to living together with God’s people within the gathered Community of Christ church under Christ lordship how the reality of our Union with Christ and the transformation of the new self shows up in various kinds of relationships that we are going to experience or we’re going to live in so we don’t have to look too far to find out what kind of spiritual progress that we have in our spiritual maturity but that spiritual progress does have results to it and one of the results of being word filled and being controlled by the spirit of God is the word submitting where you all submit we’re submitting to Christ the Supreme condition of the filling of the holy spirit is surrender it is submission to Christ the knowing and the doing what the will of the Lord is so there is a divine order there’s a divine order we are called to submit to that Christians who are controlled by the message that proclaims Christ our first to submit to the Lord giving ourselves over to however the Lord arranged things and this must come first because all authority is under Christ who already learned that in Colossians chapter 1 verse 16 where it says for by him all things were created both in Heavens and on Earth visible and invisible whether Thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities all things have been created through him and for him and then it says in verse 18 He is the head of the body and then in the end of verse number 18 so that he himself will come to have first place in everything well that starts right now that starts the moment you become a new believer that starts right when you become a born-again Christian so submission to one another would imply that one is willing to submit to those who God says has the authority whether it be in the home whether it be in the church whether it be in society scripture deals with this Authority structure in three different ways in marriage wives to husbands in the family children to parents and in the household servants and Masters and ins which bleed into society too so all of us are called to positions of authority but all of us are also called the positions of subordination submission to Authority that God sets up God’s structure no one no one is exempt from submission to Authority no one so in the passages before us this morning there are two groups I’ll only deal with a small portion of that but two groups those in subordination and who are they the wives the children and the slaves and those the one in authority and who is that husbands fathers and Masters now this morning I’m going to look at verse number 17 and 18.
actually 18 and 19.
coming out of verse number 17 and notice what it says and I’ll read Verse 18 and 19 of Chapter 3 of Colossians wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord and husbands love your wives and do not be embittered against them and then I’ll pick up the next time children but this morning wives and husbands so the first thing I’m going to mention is the imperative for a transformed wife remember everything that went before that those list of things people are putting off the wife is putting off things she’s putting on things so she’s grown and progressed to the point where now Paul feels it’s important within the colossian church and for us to give instruction teaching to the wife about what is important and it’s interesting in Ephesians and Colossians he doesn’t start with the husbands he starts with the wife and this is what he says to the wife there’s two things here that submit is God’s command for the wife in verse number 18 notice wives be subject to your husband some I think Ephesians says your own husbands and of course this of course means to willingly put yourself under the authority of the husband because that’s how God created it to be now I was reading a some material and I came across this story about a famous pianist named patervisky he’s the one that’s famous for the Minuet and G and of course he was uh in his day he was known as a very important person like a rock star a very well known he became a politician also a diplomat and this story uh is a life from his life it’s a story about his life but and and it really it had had to do with this uh that he was playing at a a college uh and he was playing the piano and this woman was there named Dwight Mrs Dwight Morrow and just after she celebrated her 20th anniversary Mrs Dwight Morrow sat at a dinner next to padovisky and was reminded of a Time when she heard the great pianist from the gallery seat at college asked if she often went back to her alma mater and uh yes I like to go back she said and sit in my old chapel seat thinking how much happier I am now than I ever thought I would be she answered him becoming interested padovisky stopped eating you don’t mean to tell me he said that you are happier now than you thought at 18 you would ever be and she said yes indeed and Mr marrow as Mrs marrow answered him and Patrick bowed deeply and said to Mrs marrow I have to meet your husband see the story says a lot about the character of the husband because of the happiness and the joy of the wife but it also says that the wife must have understood submission in order to have such a joyful marriage it looks like both the husband and the wife learned their god-given roles well to produce a story like that so the biblical roles of husband and wife have been designed by God to produce unity and order in the home and in the church that men and women are both to be fulfilled and honored through proper role relationships in the marriage if both the wife and the husband are dressing the part that is putting off sin and relationship killer is actually ridding themselves of those very things and replacing them with righteousness by putting on the new self that they will be standing on the foundation of gospel Grace in which the commands of God will be their pleasure why because they know they’re chosen they know they have been made Holy by God and they know they are loved by God so if the wife understands her role that God has designed her for she will gladly submit to her husband the term submits is used in a military sense of soldiers submitting to their Superior so technically it refers to willfully putting oneself under a leader so the wife willingly putting herself under the husband it’s the picture of soldiers in a regiment soldiers in line under an officer the soldier is no longer an individual anybody who’s been in the military knows that you’re no longer you’re owned by the government and they tell you what to do so he’s a member of a regimen and all of them who are members of the regiment are listening to the commands and instructions with the which the officer is ensuing see the soldier signed away his rights to order his own life so he’s a person under Authority if he begins to act on his own he is guilty of insubordination which has severe penalties in the military so the vast difference between military subordination and biblical submission is one is forced and the other is voluntary see the wife is to voluntarily do what the soldier is forced to do and under the lordship of Christ she follows God’s commands with joy and with thankfulness a next thing in this passage in verse number 18 it says she is to submit submitting to God’s arrangement for her life it says wise be subject to to your husbands as notice is fitting in the Lord Verse 18 fitting what is right what is proper what is one’s duty what should or should not take place in that relationship so what should take place in the home that is fitting and proper is the voluntary submission of the wife to her own husband based on her recognition of God’s order so the motivation for that is God not her husband she’s to do it to her husband and the term fitting also used in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 4 which gives some sense to the term let me just read it to you it says there must be no filthiness or silly talk or course jesting which is not fitting but rather than giving of thanks for so for a Believer there are certain things that just don’t fit anymore if a child of God is to be an imitator of God Ephesians chapter 5 verse 1 which we read this morning certain things are no longer proper among Saints only those things that are fitting in the Lord willful submission of the wife is fitting and proper in other words it looks right when you’re a Christian that’s the way it ought to be that’s the way God designed it so what is fitting and proper for believers is not determined by the culture or by government or by the latest fads blowing through the wind of the world system but by Christ our vertical relationship with Christ rules our horizontal relationships in this life Christ defines what is proper and fitting so Christians must reject the societal Insanity that is going on today submission is the piece of clothing the wife is to where to do her part in duty to her Lord because she loves Christ so wives peacefully get along with their husbands because they are not insistent on their own way for a spear-filled believer Unity is an essential in dealing with their spouse spirit filled and word filled Believers are subject to others as it says in Ephesians in the fear of Christ and the reason why they strive for our harmonious relationship in their home is because they genuinely fear God and they want to do what he says in fact the reverence they reverence God to the point that they care deeply about what he says in the word of God and desire deeply to submit to his his authority because his authority always comes first so their Godly fear encompasses both Terror and reverence submission and awe they go all together and that the inner motivation of a word filled in a Spirit-filled person and in this case a wife is to give herself willingly under the submission of her husband now theologically if she’s been growing in the knowledge of the word of God and she knows the scripture especially that of the fall of mankind into sin then she knows that the fall with all his consequences harmful to women did not arise from her her being Eve being subject to the man the exact opposite happened that when Eve abandoned her role of submission to Adam and decided to take matters into her own hands the fall came so Eve determined to lead man rather than follow and what happened disaster ensued and were you still experiencing that disaster today so in the fall what happened that the role relational principles or relation principles were comprised by uh compromised by sin and When sin entered into the world something of those roles of husbands and wives were corrupted it ruined the Harmony and unity of marriage it twisted man’s humble loving headship into aggressive dominance for some men and for others lazy indifference it twisted also woman’s intellect willingly joyfully expressing submission in a manipulative scheming and a vying for control and even unashamed Defiance of the husband’s headship and of course culture Society the sinful heart all fueled that and it does not make for a good atmosphere within marriage but now that the woman is being transformed a transformed wife living under the lordship of Christ she is willing willingly submitting to the God’s command and to his arrangement for her life it is her continuing desire to make progress in her spiritual transformation so in other words this wife her goal is to progress in this continuing thing now it’s easy to start something it’s much harder to continue something right so we want to be continuing this and that’s what a wife is doing she’s continuing in what God designed for her and she knows when she does that she’s pleasing the Lord and then when she pleases the Lord she knows the Lord is going to do something within her home that she cannot do herself he’s going to transform even others now that leads to the next imperative the imperative for a transformed husband and look at verse number 19 of chapter 3 it says their husbands love your wives let’s start right there that means that’s a positive command husbands love your wives and it is a command these are commands these are not suggestions these are commands husbands put on the Garment that binds everything together love your wives the husband the husband is to love his wife continually the present tense coupled with the Positive expressions of that love love on a regular basis and remember it’s a uniquely Christian love that is based on Christ love this is not any kind of love matter of fact the world doesn’t even know how to define love but the Bible does and love is first a commitment that I’m going to come commit to this relationship I’m going to give it all that I have so who of us really can fully understand the love that Christ has for the church scripture speaks of the breath and the length and the height and the depth of the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge which it does only from scripture really can we know about the love of Christ for his people in fact if I were to pick out some characteristics of that love from scripture it would be it would be something like this that his love is unconditional in this sense that God demonstrated his own love toward us in that while we’re yet sinners Christ died for us he’s the one who just demonstrated the Love by dying in the place of Sinners also his love is volitional he chooses to love us I like what it says in the Old Testament concerning the nation of Israel the Lord did not set his love on you nor chose you because you were more a number than any other peoples for you were the fewest of All Peoples why did God choose Israel because he decided to do it why does he choose us because he decided to do it that’s why he does it also his love is an intense love it says now in scripture now before the Feast of the Passover Jesus was knowing that his hour had come and he departed out of the of this world to his father before he departed out of this world to his father having loved his own it says who were in the world and he loved them to the end it was an intense love also it was an unending love from Romans chapter 8 shall what shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus nothing will separate us it’s an unselfish love it says in the canossa’s passage in Philippians he emptied himself taking on the form of a bond servant and being made in the like of likeness of men leaving Glory so he can die on the cross for you and I also is a purposeful love that when God loves us it works for our Improvement for our development for our happiness for our welfare for a goal and then it’s a sacrificial love which is most common in our understanding of scripture he loved us and gave himself for us so in love he bore the guilt and the penalty of sin and the wrath of God and the place of his people in love he personally bore our sins in his own body on the cross so that the penalty and the power and the devastating effects of sin in our lives might be broken forever also it’s a manifested love Christ manifested his love in words and in Deeds he loves us the Bible says he shows us he loves us he protects us he prays for us he guards us he strengthens us he helps us he defends us he teaches us he Comforts us he chastens us he equips us he empathizes with us and provides all our needs that that’s what he does this is then the standard by which a husband is to judge his relationship with his wife but I say this that no husband has ever fully loved his wife that way and not to that degree not to that extent but it is the goal toward which every husband is depressed that’s the model which he is to follow that the husband submits himself to his wife by lovingly and selflessly taking the initiative in putting her needs before his own that the husband and wife submit to one another according to the wise order established by God this hierarchy order hierarchical order reflected in marriage established from creation and the concept of an equal submitting to an equal at least spiritually a wife to her husband is based on the relationship between the father and the son within the Trinity that’s a theological thing that’s happening within the marriage relationship well you know what even in Corinthians where it sets up for us this particular point where it says but I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ and surely every husband ought to spend much time thinking about what this means in terms of his marital relationship and certainly every husband should frequently examine himself to see where he is failing to love his wife as God commands him to love her are you really loving your wife as you love yourself are you really pressing toward the goal of loving your wife as Christ loved the church is the love that you have for your wife unconditional volitional intensive unending unselfish purposeful and sacrificial is your love being manifest in numerous and continuous ways throughout the different phases of your marriage see these are the questions that every husband should be asking himself and perhaps his wife about himself are you loving me the way you should am I loving you the way I should but the husband I tell you what theologically must not forget and I think this is where we forget men that the wife has been given to us as a gift as a gift she was made by God to be a helper she was created from man for man and led to man that this serving role is a noble and valuable role not a demeaning one and Men I I think we we need to model male headship in the home and in the church that God always puts somebody on the point no organization ever will Thrive for long with nobody in charge including the home but management by consultation is a different matter if my wife is a helper to make actually my leadership better than you know what here’s where our wives are helpers and valuable to the to us husbands her wisdom her common sense her cool level-headedness her strength of character her love for people and even sometimes her steel trap logic constantly helps us Partners like our wives we would be dumber than a post if we fail to consult with her not only does she bring the benefit of a female perspective but she balances us improves us in our leadership and restrains some of our excesses as wannabe Macho men that’s what she does see we can’t forget that man we can’t leave her out of the equation how this headship principles applied that is the spirit behind it it makes all the difference I have personally I personally have never encountered a Godly female who in principle had any problem with considerate sensible and male leadership in fact Christian women cry out for Spiritual leadership from their husbands but headship and dictatorship are two different things male headship is not male tyranny it has everything to do with responsibility for others especially his wife and accountability to God that’s what leadership God’s given men we can’t opt out of that something that was given to us we must take it and use it and then as we use it we love our wives and then we find a very joyful happy marriage and home life but there’s a negative command I want you to look at it chapter 3 verse number 19 there’s a positive command and here’s a negative command husbands do not be embittered against them you got that this is a command in our passage given to the husband that if he violates this imperative he will put a kibosh on any unity and peace that he has gained and enjoyed in his home he will be in Disobedience to God’s clear command to love his wife because he is not loving his wife as a prized vessel as it tells us in First Peter you husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way as with someone weaker since she is a woman and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of Life why so that your prayers will not be hindered so if you don’t treat your wife life forget praying God doesn’t even want to hear you he wants to hear repentance towards not treating your wife right so what is the command the husband is not to do husbands do not in bitter be embittered against them the verb means of friction caused by impatience or Perpetual irritation or fault finding actually it is a word used in other places like in Revelation to say that the waters were bitter and became undrinkable it also has a sense of hostile feelings towards your wife it could be that his bitterness will be like bitter water that goes into the stomach and causes a violent reaction as Bitter Water becomes undrinkable his life will become sour and unbearable he has walked off the path of transformation and has quenched the spirit of God he is now in the flesh he is put on the old dirty garments again see bitterness we really ref reflects the the general sense in scripture of wickedness and a refusal to obey and worship God in Ephesians bitterness tops the list that symbolizes every form of malice where it says in Ephesians 4 31 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be a put away from you along with all malice see bitterness can show up in many ways in the home it can show up in the man being silent doesn’t talk to his wife anymore it could be show up in a man being absent I’m going to just work longer hours I don’t want to go home to that it could be abuse verbal mental emotional physical sometimes it could be the man manipulating withholding money from her all kinds of things come out when somebody’s bitter the Bible warns us don’t let a root of bitterness get in any relationship or in Hebrews see bitterness is a wicked thing it’s a demonic thing and Men you notice why God why did Paul pick this one out because this one has so much stuff going on with it it’s connected to so many different things the habitual attitude of bitterness that some may show their wives will reflect in the rejection of that love Christ has for his people the husband has put back on the old stinky sin-filled stained garment and remember sin will always take you further than you intend to go it will keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay and it will make you pay more than you ever imagined it would cost he is not loving his wife like God loves him he is not being a leader and an example he was created by God to be I remember when Jane and I were visiting in Israel and we were visiting the site that most historians archaeologists and Bible scholars believed the actual place that John the Baptist was baptized it was a historical site that was inaccessible for many many years because of the wars and conflicts and Border disputes between Israel and other nations so we could only go to this baptismal site of Jesus by walking on this very narrow wooden path in our tour guide warned us that it was for forbidden for anyone to step away off the wooden path because he says we know including him on others that the path has been cleared of landmines but the area on either side of the path was not cleared of the ground of explosive devices well rest assured nobody walked off that path including me and Jane actually the Greek construction of our text when the president imperative is coupled with the negative it points to a habitual action and what the habitual action of the husband is to be continually is do not be embittered against his wife if he does he would be like stepping off the wooden path I just mentioned into a spiritual Minefield in which he gives advantage to the devil and the scripture warns us over and over again do not give Satan the advantage because if you do he will take it and especially when it comes to the marriage or the relationship between a man and woman in marriage so as husbands submit themselves to the Lord as their head they will take the attitude towards their wives that is honoring to God if a man is living under the lordship of Christ since the lordship of Christ is the focused of this section and should be the focus of all of our Our Lives the emphasis on submission to the Lord Jesus is best captured by Colossians 3 17 whatever you do in word indeed do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks through him to God the Father the husband is to submit in a matter that is appropriate for those who are in the Lord in other words the husband is forbidden by God to become bitter towards his wife he is forbidden by him that’s a command so you know what don’t even go there don’t even get close to going there if you even get feelings in your mind and your heart towards your wife that are ill feelings go right to God and confess them to him and ask the Lord to help you to put on those things that are going to be beneficial to keep that marriage strong and peaceful and full of joy and without this tug of war between the husband and the wife see that’s what God wants that’s what a spiritual marriage is that’s what a transformed marriage is that’s what a marriage that is progressing in is and I would say that after what 43 years we’re going to be married that’s a long time I think we’ve been through the mountains The Valleys a lot of the valleys and we’re gone through it and I would say that the only thing that is beneficial to me getting where I’m at is the word of God and the spirit of God and what the Bible teaches because men we can all go off and women we could all go off all you have to do is listen to the world just a few days on the radio from morning to evening and you’re gone already you gotta you gotta fill your mind with the word of God keep going back to the word of God keep preaching it to yourself when you’re driving in the car you keep preaching it to yourself until you get it but until you do it until you continually do it so husbands and wives are you progressing in your spiritual majority that are in line with the imperatives today if you are continue if you’re not repent and put off these old sinful garments and do it for good lay them aside for good and then you know what Press On put one foot in front of the other breathing out breathe in and out and do the next thing that honors God and believe me that will produce a joyful life a progressive life a stable life a life that you can go into the world and be a testimony for Christ amen let’s pray Lord thank you again thank you again Lord the word of God is powerful and holy spirit thank you so much for convicting us of sin even sins Lord the Holy Spirit as a Christian when we definitely are struggling sometimes in our marriage and things aren’t always going the way we want them to and I just pray Lord that when that happens we would come back to the word of God to the Epistle of Ephesians and Colossians to what how God designed everything in Genesis and begin to think on the very principles you laid out and the imperatives you you have given us that when we obey them you give us everything we need to carry our relationship with our wives our family and our church and our children you give us what we could never have gotten if we did it our own way and so Lord I pray that you would bless marriages blessed give wisdom to the husbands give wisdom to the wives that they would have humble moldable hearts and that they would want to put these things into pretzel into practice even today and then every day forward they would do this including myself and I prayed this Lord and you’re a holy and precious name in Christ I ask it amen