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Summary
The story of Joseph forgiving his brothers (Genesis 42–46, 50) reveals God’s sovereign plan working through human sin and suffering. We are reminded that true forgiveness acknowledges real wounds while trusting God’s sovereignty, and that restoring broken relationships requires both forgiveness and acknowledgment of sin.
Key Lessons:
- We often see ourselves as “honest” and “good” until confronted with our sin — like the brothers who claimed to be honest men despite terrible deeds.
- Forgiveness does not mean declaring the offender innocent; the wounds are real and require genuine healing, not just the passage of time.
- Restoring a relationship requires two things: one side must forgive, and the other side must acknowledge their sin.
- God’s sovereignty works through even the sinful actions of people to accomplish His purposes, as Joseph declared: “It was not you who sent me here, but God.”
Application: We are called to forgive others because we ourselves have been forgiven by God. We must resist the urge to take vengeance, trust God’s sovereign plan even in suffering, and not hide our sins but confess them so that healing and restoration can take place.
Discussion Questions:
- Are there unhealed wounds in your life that you have assumed time would fix? What steps can you take to pursue genuine healing?
- Is there someone whose sin against you you need to forgive — not by declaring them innocent, but by releasing vengeance to God?
- Like the brothers who hid their sin for decades, are there sins you are concealing that are hindering your spiritual growth and relationships?
Scripture Focus: Genesis 42–46 and Genesis 50 trace Joseph’s testing and forgiveness of his brothers, revealing God’s sovereign plan. Genesis 50:20 captures the theme: what was meant for evil, God meant for good. Romans 12:19 teaches us to leave vengeance to God. Matthew 6:14–15 connects our willingness to forgive others with God’s forgiveness of us.
Outline
- Introduction
- Background and Context
- Joseph’s Brothers Come to Egypt
- Observation and Interpretation
- The Brothers Return to Canaan
- The Brothers Return to Egypt
- Joseph Reveals Himself
- The Brothers’ Lingering Fear
- Principles of Forgiveness
- Application Questions
- Discussion
Introduction
Welcome to Sunday school.
We continue with the series of the patriarchs and today we have lesson 15. The title of the lesson is Joseph forgives his brothers. For this lesson we will go on Genesis from chapters 42 to 46 and a passage in Genesis 15.
So let me pray in order to start.
Heavenly Father, thank you for this morning that we can study your word together. I ask that you bless this time, that you bless my words, and that this study can be a blessing for everybody here and everybody listening to this Sunday school in Jesus’ name.
Amen.
Background and Context
Okay, let’s see the outline of the lesson. As you see, there is a lot of material. Because we’re going through different and several chapters in the Bible, I will be going through all of this. If you have any question particularly about the topic that we are going through, you can ask your question, raise your hand, and we can take that. But if it is a general question or a general comment, please leave them to the end. I’ll make sure that we have some time before the hour to go over general questions or comments that you would like to.
For the last three weeks, we have been studying the life of Joseph. We have seen how he had gone through trials, but also we have seen how God was with him in the middle of the trials and how God blessed him also through those trials.
In last week, we saw that Joseph was in Egypt and the Lord revealed through him through the dreams of Pharaoh that there were going to be seven years of plenty and seven years of famine in the land. And now the biblical camera is going to shift to Jacob and his sons in Canaan. And that’s where we’re going to start this lesson in Genesis 42.
So I’m going to read now from Genesis 42:1-25. “Now Jacob saw that there was grain in Egypt. And Jacob said to his sons, ‘Why are you staring at one another?’ He said, ‘Behold, I have heard that there is grain in Egypt.
Go down there and buy some for us from that place so that we may live and not die.’ Then 10 brothers of Joseph went down to buy grain from Egypt. But Jacob did not send Joseph’s brother Benjamin with his brothers, for he said, ‘I am afraid that harm may befall him.’
So the sons of Israel came to buy grain among those who were coming from the famine. For the famine was in the land of Canaan also. Now Joseph was the ruler over the land. He was the one who sold to all the people of the land. And Joseph’s brothers came and bowed down to him with their faces to the ground.
Genesis 42:6: “Joseph’s brothers came and bowed down to him with their faces to the ground.”
Joseph’s Brothers Come to Egypt
When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them. But he disguised himself to them and spoke to them harshly. He said to them, “Where have you come from?” They said, “From the land of Canaan to buy food.”
Joseph Recognizes His Brothers
But Joseph had recognized his brothers, although they did not recognize him. Joseph remembered the dreams which he had about them, and said to them, “You are spies. You have come to look at the undefended parts of the land.”
Then they said to him, “No, my lord, but your servants have come to buy food. We are all sons of one man. We are honest men. Your servants are not spies.”
“Joseph remembered the dreams which he had about them.”
Yet he says to them, “No, but you have come to look at the undefended parts of our land.” But they said, “Your servants are 12 brothers in all, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan.”
Joseph Tests His Brothers
And behold, the youngest is with our father today, and one is no longer alive.” Joseph said to them, “It is said to you, you are spies. By this you will be tested by the life of Pharaoh. You shall not go from this place unless your youngest brother comes here. Send one of you that he may get your brother while you remain confined, that your words may be tested whether there is truth in you.
But if not, by the life of Pharaoh, surely you are spies.” So he put them all together in prison for three days. Now Joseph said to them, “On the third day, do this and leave, for I fear God. If you are honest men, let one of your brothers be confined in your prison. But as the rest of you, go carry grain for the famine of your households. And bring your youngest brother to me so your words may be verified and you will not die.” And they did so.
They said to one another, “Truly, we are guilty concerning our brother because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen. Therefore, this distress has come upon us.”
Reuben answered them, saying, “Did I not tell you to not sin against the boy, and you would not listen? Now comes the reckoning for his blood.” They did not know, however, that Joseph understood, for there was an interpreter between them.
Then he turned away from them and wept. But when he returned to them, he spoke to them. He took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes. Then Joseph gave orders to fill their bags with grain and to restore every man’s money in his sack and to leave them and gave them provisions for the journey. Thus it was done for them.
Now we are going to do our observation and interpretation using the same mechanic that we have been doing during this series. I have some questions here about this passage starting with this: What was Jacob’s concern?
We have the answer there. He thought that the family would die if they did not buy food from Egypt. The famine had affected Canaan as well as Egypt. Which of the brothers were sent?
Genesis 42:21: “Truly, we are guilty concerning our brother because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us.”
The Brothers’ Guilt Awakens
The 10 brothers were sent while Benjamin stayed behind. Were they the only ones seeking food in Egypt? No. We can see that there were other people looking for food as well.
How did the brothers approach Joseph? They bowed before him with their faces to the ground. Here we can see one of Joseph’s dreams now becoming reality because he precisely had this dream that the brothers were going to bow to him.
“One of Joseph’s dreams is now becoming reality — the brothers bow before him.”
And now this is literally happening.
Observation and Interpretation
This is coming to place here in this scene. Why did the brothers not recognize Joseph? Well, he was dressed like an Egyptian after many years. He was an officer of Pharaoh, and it had been many years since they had seen him. In fact, it had been 22 years.
How do we know that it’s been 22 years? He started to serve Pharaoh when he was 30. Then there were seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Now we are in the second year of famine, as indicated later in Genesis. So he’s now 39 years old, and he was sold when he was 17. So 39 minus 17 is 22 years since they have not seen each other.
Why would a spy be sent to the land of famine? This is what Joseph is telling his brothers: “You are spies.” He’s making this accusation to them. They would be looking to see if the land was vulnerable to attack because of the famine. Joseph was making a reasonable accusation.
Also, since Egypt was the only place in the land where there was food, probably some others would like to attack to take the food. What did the brothers believe had happened to Joseph? In some versions of the Bible, in the ESV, they use the phrase “is no more” in verse 13. The version that I read in the ESV says “he’s no longer alive.” But if you are reading the ESV and you see the phrase “is no more,” this is an expression that means basically the same thing. It means that Joseph is dead. So the brothers believed that Joseph was dead by now.
What test did Joseph propose? Joseph starts some sort of test with his brothers. Initially, he tells them that one of them must return and bring back their youngest brother. But later on, we see that he changes the plan. He locks them up for three days, and now he says, “Okay, you can go, but I will keep only one of you.”
What did the brothers believe about the adversity they were facing? They thought they were being repaid for the treatment of Joseph many years ago. We can see this in verses 22 through 23. At that moment, they start to realize, “Oh, maybe this is happening because of what we did to our brother.”
What language had been used in these discussions? We can see in verse 23 that there was an interpreter. So it means that Joseph was speaking in Egyptian and his brothers were speaking Hebrew. Why was it important? When the brothers start to realize that this is happening because of what they did to Joseph, they are speaking among themselves. They don’t think that Joseph can understand them. But Joseph can understand them.
At this moment, we see that Joseph was overcome with emotion. He goes away and he wept. This is interesting because Joseph had gone through many trials in his life, many difficult situations. But the Bible does not record any reaction from Joseph during those situations until now. The Bible records that Joseph wept. Even though he went through all those difficult situations, the situation he’s experiencing now is no doubt more difficult and more emotional for him.
“Joseph was overcome with emotion. The Bible records that Joseph wept.”
Next question. How did the brothers part? Joseph kept Simeon as hostage and sent the other brothers back home with their sacks full of grain. He also put the money in their sacks and gave them provisions for the journey.
And that’s how this text finalizes.
The Brothers Called Themselves ‘Honest Men’
And now I have a couple of points for interpretation about this text. First point, how do the brothers describe themselves when they were accused of being spies? This is a good point to interpret because in verse 11 they say that they are honest men. That’s how they describe themselves to Joseph. And then in verse 13 they say that one of his brothers is no longer alive or is no more. But why is that brother no longer alive?
Well, because they saw him, they are the ones who are guilty of that. And they say, “Oh, we don’t know. He’s no longer alive.” And not only that, if we see other passages, previous passages in Genesis 35:22, we see that Reuben committed adultery with Bilha, who was Jacob’s concubine.
“They say they are honest men, yet they are the ones guilty of what happened to their brother.”
Why Joseph Tests His Brothers
On Genesis 34, we see that Simeon and Levi killed all the men of a city and plundered the city in a savage act of vengeance. In Genesis 38, we see that Judah had left the house of his father and was living a selfish and immoral life. Yet they say, “We are honest men. We are good men.”
That is pretty much the way we see ourselves, right? When we look at the people around us, we all say, “I’m a good man. I am a good person. I’m honest. I’m okay. I’m fine.” Until we are confronted with our sins, until God calls us, and then we realize that we are sinners and we need Jesus.
You may say, “Well, but I haven’t committed these terrible things that the brothers had done.” Yeah, you may be right. But according to the Bible, there is no one righteous, not even one. So we are sinners and we cannot claim before God that we are honest men, good men.
Now the next question: Why does Joseph test his brothers? This is a little bit more difficult to answer because the text doesn’t say specifically what Joseph’s intention is when he starts this test on his brothers. Probably Joseph isn’t even totally sure of what he’s doing because he says one thing in the beginning—that he’s going to keep nine and let one go—and then later he changes his plan. Three days later. So probably during these three days he’s meditating on how he’s going to proceed.
But in any case, this sort of test that he’s doing is producing good results on his brothers. Now when they are in jail, they start to realize about the sin. They start to say, “Okay, this is happening to us because of what we did to our brother.” So that’s how they start this process of recognizing the sin. They go from “We are honest men” to “We’re not so honest. We did this, and maybe this is happening because of what we did to our brother.”
Okay, next point. In the next sections of the text, I’m just going to go through the text making a summary. We won’t be doing the observation and interpretation because we wouldn’t have time for that. I’m going to make a summary of what happens next.
The next part is Genesis 42:26 through 38, so basically till the end, and Genesis 43. After that, the brothers are back in Canaan and tell Jacob what happened in Egypt. They tell Jacob that in order to go back to Egypt and get more food, they have to take Benjamin with them. Jacob is distressed about that. He doesn’t want them to take Benjamin to Egypt with him.
Then we see that Reuben talks to Jacob, his father. Reuben is the oldest brother, so he tries to take the leadership in that sense and convince Jacob. But he doesn’t have success. So then Judah steps in and talks to Jacob, and finally Jacob reluctantly agrees to let Benjamin go.
Let’s see here quickly how Reuben talks to Jacob. We can see that on verse 42:37.
“According to the Bible, there is no one righteous, not even one. We cannot claim before God that we are honest.”
The Brothers Return to Canaan
It says, “Then Reuben spoke to his father, saying, you may put my two sons to death if I do not bring him back.” Meaning Benjamin, you put him in my care, and I will return him to you.
“This test is producing good results — the brothers start to recognize their sin.”
Reuben and Judah’s Contrasting Approaches
This proposal, this idea of Reuben, may seem good while he’s offering his own sons. But in reality, how can Jacob see this? I mean, okay, you say that you will bring my son back and Benjamin back. But then if not, then what am I supposed to do? I kill my own grandsons. I’m losing one child and I’m supposed to kill my grandson. It’s not very logical.
But now let’s see how Judah talks to Jacob. We can see that in Genesis 43:9. Then Judah says, “I myself will be surety for him. You may hold me responsible for this. If I do not bring him back to you and send him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever.”
“Reuben’s proposal seems good, but how can Jacob accept killing his own grandsons?”
That sounds like a better approach, more sound and logical approach. I’m taking the ownership. I’m making myself responsible. If something goes wrong, put the blame on me.
So then, as commented, Jacob agrees and they have no other option. They have to get more food, otherwise they will die. So their brothers are back to Egypt. And now that is in chapter 43, they are back in Egypt.
And when they are back in Egypt, what happens?
Genesis 43:9: “I myself will be surety for him. If I do not bring him back, let me bear the blame forever.”
The Brothers Return to Egypt
They Joseph sees them and he orders them to be sent to his house. The brothers are in Joseph’s house. Simeon is brought back to join them. Simeon is released.
When Joseph gets into the house, the brothers bow down to Joseph. We see this scene again for the second time. They bow down and Joseph is overwhelmed with emotion when he meets Benjamin especially and he weeps. We see again this scene, the boy, the brothers bowing down and Joseph with all these high emotions weeping when he meets Benjamin.
“The brothers bow down and Joseph is overwhelmed with emotion when he meets Benjamin.”
Then Joseph and the brothers eat and drink and Benjamin receives an extra portion of food. This is particularly interesting because why this special treatment for Benjamin? Well, let’s remember that Benjamin was son of Rachel. So he was a full brother of Joseph.
Also, we can tell that Benjamin did not take part when the brothers sold Joseph because Benjamin at that time was very young and the brothers, let’s remember, they were away from home working with the flocks. So it’s very unlikely that Benjamin had taken part in that event and that may explain why there is this special treatment for Benjamin.
And we can also say that’s probably a part of the test that Joseph is doing. Let’s see how the brothers react. If I am showing favoritism to Benjamin and give him some more, there is no reaction from the brothers. Everything goes well and they end this time happy.
The text says that Benjamin received five times more food than the brothers. I wonder if Benjamin ate all that food. Giant amount of food and everything seems to be going well for the brothers. Now they are going back to Egypt with Benjamin, with Simeon. They are going back to his father.
But something unexpected is going to happen.
The Silver Cup and Benjamin’s Crisis
We see now that in Genesis 44, Joseph had his silver cup hidden in Benjamin’s sack as the brothers returned to Canaan. He did this in secret.
They didn’t know. Joseph then ordered his steward to go after the brothers.
His steward caught up with the brothers shortly after they left and accused them of stealing Joseph’s cup. They initially denied it, but then the steward opened each of their sacks and found the cup in Benjamin’s sack. At that time, the brothers were in total distress.
That’s exactly what they didn’t want to happen. That’s exactly what their father told them—bring Benjamin back—and now this is what may not happen. Imagine that moment for the brothers. It must have felt like this cannot be happening to us.
“That’s exactly what they didn’t want to happen — exactly what their father feared.”
They tore their clothes in a sign of repentance and humbled themselves, but they were brought back to Joseph. That’s what the steward had to do. They were brought back to Joseph, and this was the third time they encountered Joseph. What happened? They fell before Joseph to the ground.
So now we see this scene again when the brothers bow to Joseph for the third time. Joseph reviews the situation and says, “Okay, Benjamin was the one who took the cup, so I’m going to keep Benjamin as a slave.” What happens then? Well, Judah offers to take Benjamin’s place to avoid his father dying of grief, having lost his two favorite sons.
So what can the brothers do? There is not much they can do. They are innocent, and the text doesn’t record what was the reaction of Benjamin if he argued that he had not done it.
Judah’s Sacrificial Plea
The text doesn’t say what was the reaction of the other brothers if they tried to blame Benjamin. Why did you do this? There is no detail on that. But when they are before Joseph, the evidence is overwhelming. Even though they are innocent, the cup was in Benjamin’s sack. So what can they do at that time? The only thing they can do is ask for mercy. There is nothing else you can do but be merciful on us.
Then Judah—remember, Judah had offered himself to be responsible for Benjamin. Judah steps in again and gives this very emotional words to Joseph. We can read part of this in Genesis 44:30-34. I’m going to read this now.
“Therefore, when I come to your servant my father”—so he is talking about himself. “I come to your servant, my father, and the lad is not with us. Since his life is found in the lad’s life, the lad is Benjamin.
When he sees that the lad is not with us, he will die. Thus, your servants will bring the gray hair of your servant, our father, down to Sheol in sorrow. For your servant became surety for the lad to my father, saying, if I do not bring him back to you, then let me bear the blame before my father forever.
Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the lad as slave to my lord, and let the lad go with my brothers. For how shall I go to my father if the lad is not with us? For fear that I see the evil that will overtake my father.”
This is interesting because, if we remember the story, why did this drama happen? One of the main reasons was because Jacob’s favorite son was Joseph. That’s why the brothers hated Joseph.
Genesis 44:33: “Let your servant remain instead of the lad as slave to my lord, and let the lad go with my brothers.”
Yeah. And did Jacob change? No, he didn’t change. He only changed his favorite son. He no longer had Joseph. Now Benjamin took that place as his favorite son.
Judah’s Transformation
But he didn’t change that sinful habit of showing favoritism to one of his sons. But who is changing here? It’s Judah. Judah is the one changing here. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey, dad, I know that you don’t love me as much as you love my brother. I know that I’m not your favorite.
Probably you don’t really love me. Simeon is held captive and Jacob doesn’t even care about Simeon. All he cares about is Benjamin and Benjamin and Benjamin. But he says okay, doesn’t matter. I’m going to love you and I’m going to honor you in spite of all that. And now he’s pleading to Joseph for mercy on Benjamin because he doesn’t want to cause more pain to his father.
“Judah is the one changing. He’s willing to honor his father and sacrifice himself despite not being the favorite.”
How did this man change? There is not much about Judah’s life, but we see at the end of chapter 38. I believe when he talks about Judah there is a small detail that happened to him that seems to have changed his life. It’s an event that happened to him and that seems to be the event that the Lord uses to change his heart.
And now instead of being that selfish man, he’s a man that is willing to put himself in place of his brother. By the way, they keep talking about Benjamin as if he’s a boy. Some versions refer to him as a boy. Here they talk about him as a lad. He’s not really a boy now.
“Instead of being that selfish man, Judah is now willing to put himself in place of his brother.”
I mean he was born before Joseph was sold, and that happened 22 years ago. So by this time Benjamin is in his mid-20s, probably late 20s. So he’s not a boy really, but why do they keep talking about him as if he’s a boy? It’s probably because for his father, for Jacob, he was still his boy. He was the youngest of his sons.
He kept seeing him as his boy, his boy, his boy. And now the brothers still call him a boy. This happens in families sometimes. The youngest son is forever the boy, and this is happening here.
Joseph Reveals Himself
So after these emotional words of Judah, we get to the climax of this story in Genesis 45:1-9. I’m going to read this.
Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. And he cried, “Have everyone out from me.” So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it and the household of Pharaoh heard it.
Then Joseph said to his brother, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed by his presence.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph whom you sold in Egypt. Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here. For God sent me before you to preserve life.
For the famine has been in the land these two years and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth and to keep you alive by a great deliverance.
Now therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God, and he has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. Hurry up and go to my father and say to him, “Your son Joseph says, God has made me lord of Egypt. Come down to me, do not delay.”
This is highly emotional and you can feel the emotion. You can feel it in the words of Joseph and in his weeping. We saw the brothers bow down by the third time and now Joseph weeps by the third time and this weeping is even stronger than the other two.
He tells everybody in his house to go out and still the Egyptians can hear his weeping. This is the overwhelming answer of Joseph to his brothers.
Genesis 45:4-5: “I am your brother Joseph whom you sold into Egypt. Do not be grieved — God sent me before you to preserve life.”
He’s offering now the forgiving of what he did to them in the past. Joseph weeps loudly and the brothers are speechless. They cannot believe what is happening.
But Joseph reassures his brothers, kisses them and keeps weeping on them.
It Was Not You, But God
And what is the reading that Joseph does on everything that has happened so far? What is his conclusion?
This is illustrated in Genesis 45:8 when it says, “It was you who sent me here. It was not you who sent me here, but God. And he has made me a father to Pharaoh and the lord of his household and ruler over the land of Egypt.”
So in the end of all this drama, in the end of all this situation, Joseph’s conclusion is it was God behind all this. It wasn’t you, it was the Lord.
Now this may seem contradictory because it was actually the brothers and the brothers sinned against Joseph. It was not that the brothers thought about this. They meant evil for him. But Joseph said, “Okay, regardless of that, God had a plan and this plan was accomplished.”
That is an amazing declaration by Joseph—how he reads and understands what happened to him and how he expressed that to his brothers.
Now Joseph tells his brothers to bring all the family to Egypt and they do that. They go back to Jacob.
Genesis 45:8: “It was not you who sent me here, but God, and He has made me lord of all his household.”
God Reassures Jacob
They tell everything that happened and the family is moving now down to Egypt. But before that there is an interesting passage in Genesis 46:2-4 because if they are going down to Egypt, then what happens to God’s promise about the land, the land of Canaan? Is that then something that is going to happen?
In this passage, God speaks to Jacob and it says God spoke to Israel in visions of the night and said, “Jacob, Jacob.” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you a great nation there. I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will surely bring you up again, and Joseph will close your eyes.”
This I think has a lot of relationship with the declaration that Joseph had done before to his brothers. It was not you but it was God. Now in a certain way God is telling something similar to Jacob. He’s telling Jacob, okay, do not be afraid. Go down to Egypt. What has happened? Everything that is happening with Jacob, with your other sons, it’s not beyond my control.
Genesis 46:3-4: “Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you a great nation there. I will go down with you.”
My promise, what I told you about the land, is going to be accomplished. This is not something that escaped my control, my abilities. It is part of the plan. So do not be afraid. Go down to Egypt. The promise is still valid. It’s going to be fulfilled.
So do not be afraid and go down to Egypt and you will come back. Now we know that he didn’t come back. He died in Egypt. But we can interpret that God is referring to his descendants. They are going to go back and we know that happened later on.
So at this point we could have thought that everything settled down and the brothers and Joseph were now okay. The relationship is fine.
The Brothers’ Lingering Fear
But still there is something that happens many years later, and we see that in Genesis 50, the last chapter of Genesis. The passage is there. I’m not going to read it, but basically what happens is that when Jacob dies, the brothers still feel the need to talk to Joseph because they fear that now that their father died, Joseph may take vengeance on them.
It’s been 17 years that had gone by when they came together again, and from the time that his father died there were 17 years because Jacob arrived in Egypt when he was 130 and Jacob died at 147.
So 17 years have gone by, and after the father dies this topic comes up again in the brothers’ minds.
Why did they think about this?
Is it that Joseph had not forgiven them? I think Joseph had shown that he had genuinely forgiven them, but yet they are not in peace. They still have that in their hearts.
“Joseph had shown genuine forgiveness, but the brothers were still not at peace.”
Forgiveness and Restoration
And it’s one thing to forgive and another thing to restore the relationship. In order to restore a relationship, one side has to forgive and the other side has to acknowledge their sin.
We have seen through this that apparently the brothers had not really acknowledged their sin to Joseph. That part seems to be missing.
“One thing is forgiving; another is restoring the relationship. One side must forgive, the other must acknowledge their sin.”
Now this part is being done when they go to Joseph. They send a message to him, and they don’t even do it in person like in a straight communication to him. They use this story of their father telling them to go to Joseph and ask for forgiveness.
But even though they do this, they are now trying to acknowledge their sin and restore the relationship.
We see also this pattern again of Joseph weeping when the brothers spoke to him, and the brothers also falling down before him. This pattern repeats, and this is the last time that it will be shown. Now the brothers have bowed down to Joseph before, but without knowing that Joseph was Joseph. Now this time they do know it, and they bow down to him.
Joseph’s answer is again overwhelming in mercy and in loving kindness for his brothers. He tells them basically what he has told them before: Do not be afraid. I’m not going to take any vengeance against you. And so he comforted and spoke kindly to them.
Now as I said, the brothers are restoring the relationship by acknowledging their sin, and that brings the relationship together again. But the forgiving—Joseph’s forgiving—is not depending on the other side to acknowledge their sin. We are told to forgive regardless if the other side acknowledges their sin or not.
But for the relationship to be restored, it is good to have this combination of forgiving and acknowledging their sin.
Principles of Forgiveness
This story involves forgiving. In order to shape down this idea of forgiving, I have this slide here based on the words of Joseph when he answers to his brothers. We draw here some conclusions or some ideas about forgiving because forgiving is not easy.
It’s one of the most difficult things that we are called to do. I don’t know about you, but for me it’s really difficult. It’s one of the things that I struggle with, and this is helpful for us to think about it and to analyze.
When Joseph says to his brothers, “Do not be afraid. Am I in God’s place?” he’s telling them that he understands that everything that is happening is part of God’s plan. It’s God’s sovereignty.
Joseph is acknowledging God’s sovereignty in his life and in everything that’s happening in the world. Also, Joseph is saying that by asking “Am I in God’s place?” he’s saying that he is not the one to take vengeance or to apply judgment on the other side.
“Joseph acknowledges God’s sovereignty — he is not the one to take vengeance or apply judgment.”
He’s leaving that to the Lord as we see, for example, in Romans 12:19: “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, and I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Joseph is making this point: I am not God. I am not the one who takes vengeance. That will be left upon the Lord.
One way that God may execute this justice nowadays is through our civil authorities, for example. In the Old Testament, it was through Moses’ law that justice was applied. But even if the authorities do not do what they are supposed to do, even if justice is not served, we are still called not to execute vengeance on ourselves. And that’s what Joseph is saying.
Wounds Are Real and Need Healing
Also, when Joseph says “you meant evil against me,” he’s not saying the brothers are okay. It doesn’t matter. You didn’t do anything wrong. No, you did something wrong. You sinned against me and I was hurt.
The wounds that we have as a result of someone sinning against us are real, and we need healing. It’s similar to when we have a physical wound. Let’s say you are walking down the street and you fell to the ground. You get up and you just have a few scratches on your knees. You go home, you wash your wounds, you apply some antiseptic and band-aids, and it hurts, but no big deal. In a couple of days, you will be fine.
But if God forbids, you fell and you break your leg. Now you probably need to go to the hospital, and your healing time will be longer. It will require more than just a quick antiseptic and band-aid.
In spiritual terms, you may require some counseling. You may require some brothers or sisters to go with you, to cry with you, to pray with you. The wounds that you have are bigger.
Forgiveness is not declaring innocent, and we need to heal our wounds. In the case of the brothers, we saw that there had been 17 years, and that was still there. We sometimes think that time will heal everything. That doesn’t happen. You forget about things, but if those issues are not healed, they will be there. You will not remember them, but they will be there. At some event, something happens and those come back again, and they start hurting you, as it happened with the brothers. Their father died, and now these wounds are alive again. They come up because they have not been healed.
Finally, we forgive because we have been forgiven. In this story, we probably tend to identify with Joseph. We probably think that we are Joseph, and that may be real for some of you. But what if we are the brothers?
“Forgiveness is not declaring someone innocent. The wounds are real and we need healing.”
We Forgive Because We Have Been Forgiven
What if we are the ones who cause sin on someone else? And what if we go to God in repentance and ask for forgiveness? What is God going to tell us? Is he going to apply full judgment and say you will not be forgiven, or is he going to forgive us? I think we know the answer. If we go in repentance, he will forgive us.
“What if we are the brothers? If we go to God in repentance, He will forgive us.”
That’s what we have to keep in mind ourselves.
Application Questions
Matthew 6:14 and 15. For if you forgive others for your transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Keeping that in mind will certainly help us to forgive.
I have here some application questions for you to think about this lesson.
Matthew 6:14: “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
You can see them on the screen. This basically revolves about forgiveness, about going to God in repentance, and also about trusting God. As we saw, this story is not just a story that is in the Bible. It’s part of God’s story. God was always in control, and it’s also something that can help us to trust God.
God’s promises were not affected by this, but on the contrary, they were displayed in a bigger way to us. We see all of God’s mercy, loving kindness, and wisdom displayed in this. Sometimes we wonder why things have to be this way. Why do things have to be so hard for Joseph and his brothers?
Couldn’t this have been done in an easier way? Could God have just worked out these things without having Joseph and his brothers go through all this?
Probably he could, but if he had done that, we wouldn’t be reading this and we wouldn’t be amazed by all this great story that God has prepared for us. That was the last point.
You may say, “Okay, well, but in this case, Joseph’s story ended up well. Everything went well for Joseph and the brothers, and in my story this has not happened. I’m still suffering from the sin of others, and I do not see anything good that has happened to me.”
Well, that might be the case, but let’s not forget that probably you are not at the end of your story. There may be something else coming up for you. And what is for sure to come is eternal life with Christ. That is a great hope.
“You may not be at the end of your story. What is certain is eternal life with Christ — that is a great hope.”
Let’s also remember that, as Romans says, for the ones who love God, everything works for their good. That’s the end of my presentation. Now, questions or comments?
Discussion
Yeah.
I think about the Lord. He does test us and he knows what’s in our hearts, but we don’t need it. We don’t see it, and sometimes we have to go through those tests over and over. Even taking communion, if we don’t examine ourselves—and I’m not talking to the point of morbid introspection—if we can’t acknowledge the layers of the onion in our hearts, then we can’t even mortify the flesh and we can’t get over conflict because we can’t even acknowledge it.
I thought of Judah, where he sees his father favor Benjamin, and yet he honored because he had been transformed. He understood three things: because every conflict comes down to the sovereignty of God over every situation, even though his father was favoring. Then the authority and then the submission—like every single conflict that we have. God puts us through things and gives us tests. Examine what am I supposed to get out of this? How am I supposed to be conformed? And then submit to God’s will, as Joseph understood it was all from God.
Even though it hurts, the test hurts, but it’s for our benefit to just examine our hearts so that God can do a work and just acknowledge that’s who we are and that’s going to go on till we face the Lord and he’ll be faithful to complete us at that point.
There’s so many deep attributes in that one story, which is applicable to us all the time.
That’s right. It’s part of our growth in the Lord.
Glenda and then Arthur.
Sometimes we act just like the brothers. God has forgiven us of our sins, but we keep going to him all the time for forgiveness. They didn’t realize Joseph had forgiven them. It’s just because they could not forgive themselves.
Seeing their brother has forgiven them of all the things that they did to him, Joseph kept telling them it was not you. God sent me—this happened to me because God sent me to preserve life. But because they couldn’t forgive themselves, they just kept wondering, “Well, when our father dies, he’s going to do this to us. He’s going to do that to them.”
So we sometimes are like that. God has forgiven us, but we keep going over and over and trying to go to him for this same sin that he has forgiven us. We just can’t forgive ourselves. Sometimes we’re like the brothers.
Yeah. And probably the reason why we cannot forgive ourselves is because we don’t trust God. We don’t believe that his promises are real, and we have not acknowledged our own sin as well. So we need to acknowledge our sin and humble ourselves before God.
Yeah. Something that I wanted to point out, and I believe this is really important for us to understand: God gives us the story of Joseph, how it fits into his will. But we got to recognize that there are details that are left out only because God wants us to focus on the fact that despite human error and sin, his plan is carried out.
What I wanted to point out though is how disgusting it was for Jacob’s family. They were hiding from their father all those years that they had sold his son into slavery. Every day they looked—or how often they actually visited their father—this sin was always present in their lives. When it was mentioned about why it was difficult for them to forgive themselves, it’s because over time they were hiding this from their father all those years. Imagine they had children.
How serious this sin was, and yet they were raising their children. I point this out because there are sins in our lives. In Proverbs it says, “He who hides his sin shall not prosper.”
That could be taken as physical blessings or it could be taken as spiritual blessings—in other words, how we develop mentally and spiritually. Here we find in Jacob’s family, even though Joseph and Yen says what they intended for evil God meant for good, yet the damage that was done because of this hidden sin. We can see it even when God delivers Israel from Egypt. We can see there’s certain characteristics within Israel that becomes their doom when they’re delivered from Egypt.
So there’s some sense that can linger on for who knows how long. And I only mention that because when we talk about forgiveness, I’ve shared this with a few people. There were two deaths in my family. My grandfather—I don’t think they meant to kill him. He was a pastor. He was beaten in the street. No one was ever charged for the crime. My family comes from the south. A relative of mine was set on fire. No one was ever brought to justice—was never charged with that crime.
And I’m thinking, yeah, even though I’ve forgiven them, one of the members of my family that has forgiven them, the fact that they lived—whoever perpetrated these crimes lived with that until they passed away. Very serious.
We should never hide our sins. We’re told to confess our faults to one another. Hiding sin can be very damaging, not only to our lives but to our children.
That’s right. That’s right. The only way to overcome our sins is by confessing our sins.
And he said, “What you meant for evil, God turned it for good.” And he fully forgave them. But there was still this apprehension that even after Jacob passed away, they thought that this was his moment for him to take retribution.
But no, it was a complete forgiveness.
We see the similarities on the cross. Jesus says, “Father, forgive them because they don’t know what they’re doing. What it is that they meant for evil, this is going to usher in the ultimate salvation and forgiveness of sin for mankind.” And there’s an old Puritan pastor, Richard Sibs, that says there is more grace in Christ than there is sin in us. That forgiveness is complete. Nothing can be added to it.
Nothing can be taken from it. Yeah.
Yeah. Very right. Yeah. There are a lot of parallels between Joseph and Christ.
I didn’t go through them because they would take probably another lesson. But yeah, there is a lot of that.
Well, we have come to the end of the lesson. Let me close in prayer. Father, thank you for this time that we could go studying this lesson. Thank you for your word. We ask that you bless us during the rest of the worship service and thank you for everything that we have studied this morning. In Jesus’ name, amen.