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Calvary Community Church

Sunday School

Lesson 1: What Is Biblical Counseling?

Speaker
David Capoccia

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In this first lesson, Pastor Dave Capoccia explores what to expect from the class, how the world answers the fundamental questions of “Why do I do what I do, and how can I change?”, and what biblical counseling is and is not.

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Note: This transcript and summary was autogenerated. It has not yet been proofread or edited by a human.

Summary

We are introduced to a ten-week foundational course on biblical counseling, framed around the central question: ‘Why do I do what I do, and how can I change?’ We are reminded that the world offers many explanations for human behavior—genetics, trauma, environment, and psychology—but these answers are ultimately incomplete and cannot bring about deep, lasting change. This course teaches us that true change comes from the heart, and only God, through His Word and Spirit, can transform it. We are called not just to receive this truth personally, but to be equipped to minister it to others.

Key Lessons:

  1. Human behavior flows from the heart—what we believe and love—and lasting change requires heart transformation, not merely external fixes.
  2. The Bible is uniquely powerful to identify and change hearts, going deeper than any psychological theory or worldly wisdom.
  3. Biblical counseling is not just for professionals or struggling Christians—it is the responsibility of every believer, practiced with sincere love and patient discipleship.
  4. The true goal of biblical counseling is not solving problems or changing behavior outwardly, but sanctification and glorifying God.

Application: We are called to commit to personal Bible reading and prayer, engage seriously with the course homework, and begin seeing ourselves as called counselors who use God’s Word to minister to one another in the church.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What worldly explanations for human behavior have most influenced your thinking, and how does Scripture challenge those assumptions?
  2. Have you ever thought of yourself as a counselor? How does knowing that all Christians are called to admonish and teach one another change your perspective?
  3. In what area of your own life do you need heart-level transformation rather than just a behavioral fix?

Scripture Focus: Hebrews 4:12–13 teaches that God’s Word uniquely penetrates and exposes the heart. Colossians 1:28 and 3:16 show that admonishing and teaching one another with wisdom is the calling of all believers. James 1:19–21 calls us to receive the implanted Word with humility rather than defensiveness.

Outline

Introduction

All right, well good morning and welcome to Sunday school. We’re getting started right at nine o’clock. Thank you so much for being here on time. We have a lot to do today. I’m really excited.

Let’s start with a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you so much for this opportunity to build up your people with your truth. I pray that this would be a great time. Lord, help me to be able to speak clearly and hopefully, and help us to take in your word and your instruction. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Like I said, I’m really glad that we’re doing this class, and glad that you are here. I’m sure more will be arriving. A lot of people have signed up for the class, which is really exciting to me because it’s been my desire since finishing seminary to do a biblical counseling class at the church.

I’ve mentioned to many of you before that counseling was something I really got into while at seminary. I was required to take a counseling class as part of my pastoral training, but I took some extra ones because I wanted to pursue certification with ACBC, the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. It’s a biblical counseling organization.

While I was at seminary, it was impressed upon me that counseling is for everyone. It’s actually what the whole church should be doing. I’ll talk more about that a little bit later today.

I’ve been eager to bring that kind of instruction to you, and I’m glad that you’ve chosen to be part of it as well.

About This Course

Well, this is our first class, and I have three goals to accomplish in today’s class and our agenda here. Today we want to talk about, first of all, this class: what is this class about? I want to come back to that question that I’ve used as part of the title of this class: “Why do I do what I do, and how can I change?”

Then we’ll talk about what is biblical counseling? I’m talking a lot about it. I’m hyping it up. But what is it really about?

Let’s first talk about what is this class about? What can you expect from this class? What is this class all about?

Course Expectations and Format

I’ve got a number of items here. But first of all, let’s talk about attendance. I’m so glad that you are here and that many, if not most of you, have signed up. But I’m expecting—and I hope that you expect—that you’ll be part of every class.

We’ve got ten lessons to go through. I want you to be part of all of them because that’s what I think will give you the maximum benefit. You say, “Oh, what if I miss a class, or I don’t know if I can make everyone?” That’s okay. I think you’ll get benefit no matter what. But commit to being part of every class. That way, you get the full benefit of this course.

I’m going to be here every class. I want you to be here every class too. And if you happen to miss a class, go back to the lesson you missed. These are being recorded. Just find it online.

It is ten weeks. This is just an introductory course—a foundation-setting course. There’s a lot of things we can say about biblical counseling. We could talk about various issues. We can talk about eating disorders. We can talk about suicidal thoughts. We can talk about depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder—various subtopics. And we will touch on many of those.

“We’re going to talk about the core principles of biblical counseling that really inform how we confront many of those issues.”

But that’s too much for an introductory course right now. We’re going to talk about the core principles of biblical counseling that really inform how we confront, how we address many of those issues. Maybe later, Lord willing, we can do courses on more specific topics in biblical counseling.

Hopefully, you have received or are receiving a folder. Take some time right now to put your name in the folder as you get it because it might be a chance that you leave the folder here at church and you lose it. We don’t want you to lose your folder or lose the notes within.

What I’m presenting to you is this class is an adaptation of what was presented to me in seminary. Dr. John Street was my counseling professor, and he has graciously given me permission to adapt his materials for this class. Some of you may have read his books, or you may have been part of the marriage conference he did for our church way back when. I really appreciated his instruction, and I’m basically passing it on to you—my version of it, my adaptation of it.

I’m going to be giving you a handout each week for you to put in your folder—just a one-page handout that you can follow along. Please make use of that. I’m also going to be supplying to you different homework articles, different things to read as part of your homework.

Homework and Personal Growth

You say, “What? Homework?” Yes, homework will be part of this class. Actually, homework is a very important part of counseling in general because, as Dr. Street would say, and as I say to my counselees, the one hour you meet with a counselor is not the magic hour where everything happens and everything changes. That’s just the guidance hour.

The real work actually happens throughout the week as a person engages with the homework and follows up on what you talked about in your counseling time together. So for many of the same reasons, I’m asking you to do homework as part of this course. It is a reinforcement of what we’re talking about here, and it is an opportunity to learn further.

Now, I’m not going to check it. I’m not going to grade it. But we will take time in class to talk about it. So don’t be like, “Oh, I’m not going to do it.” You’re shooting yourself in the foot if you do that. This is just as it is with counseling: you get in or you get out what you put in.

If you say, “Well, I’m not going to do the homework. I’m just going to come to class,” you’ll benefit, but not as much as you could have.

“You get out what you put in. If you don’t do the homework, you’ll benefit, but not as much as you could have.”

And this isn’t just about scoring brownie points with Dave or learning this really technical but abstract thing. No, this is about benefiting your life and benefiting the church. So take the time to make the most of it. Do the homework, and I’ll make sure not to make it too burdensome. It’s just a little bit of reading or some very light writing activities.

So homework will be part of the course. Make sure you do it. It’ll benefit you.

What is the class format going to be? Well, my intention is for each class to start with a little time discussing the homework. I’ll ask you some questions about it. I’ll ask you to share some of the things that you learned or that you had questions about.

And we’ll have our main lesson—the main teaching time. And Lord willing, if I can manage the class time well enough, have time at the end of class for questions. I like to teach interactively. I’m not asking you to answer me right now, but expect that in the class I will be asking you questions that you need to answer out loud.

Don’t feel like you have to raise your hand to answer. You can just say it. But if you have a question, you can raise your hand, and I’ll try to answer it in class. Make sure it’s a short question. If it’s a long question—that’s a big introduction or it requires a long explanation—save that for the end of class. But if it’s a short question, you can raise your hand, and I’ll try to address it during class.

I’ll be using a PowerPoint as a visual aid. Don’t expect anything super fancy with a PowerPoint. It’s just basic and helpful. I don’t have any animations or really cool graphics. It’s just a basic visual aid.

Let’s talk about timing. I intend to start each of these classes at 9 a.m., so make sure you get here early so that you’re ready to start and not miss anything. I also intend to end before 10 a.m. because we have other things to do today in church. We have refreshment time. We have the main service.

I know in the past, if you have been with me in Sunday school, I didn’t always hit that mark. Sometimes I went over. I will not. I am committing to not doing that. I even set a little alarm on my phone to notify me when the class is coming to an end. So expect that we will end by 10 o’clock.

Expect also that in this class you’ll be sanctified. That’s actually one of the reasons why I wanted to do this class so much. When I took the classes on counseling in seminary, I didn’t just learn how to counsel other people. I learned, “Wow, I didn’t even realize the sin and idols that I have in my heart that I need to deal with biblically.”

And so myself, my wife, my fellow seminary students—we all found, “Wow, I love the counseling courses because it really sanctifies me.” And so expect that that’s going to happen in this course. You will be confronted over some of your sins or wrong beliefs or idols. But it is for your benefit.

So expect that you will benefit spiritually from being part of this class. And don’t shy away from the uncovering and the transformation that this class will do to your heart.

“Expect that you will benefit spiritually. Don’t shy away from the uncovering and transformation this class will do to your heart.”

That’s also one of the reasons why I gave the kind of long title to this class: “Why do I do what I do, and how can I change?” I want to emphasize that this is not just for other people. It’s for you. That’s for each of us.

But it is not just for you. It is also equipping for ministry. Expect that you’ll be equipped to counsel in this class. You are called to do this, as I’ll talk about more later today. And I want to give you a theological foundation and a practical foundation to do this.

So if you find yourself at the very end of this just filled with a bunch of knowledge but not translating into any practical action, then you miss the point of this course. This is intended for you to not only help yourself with it but to help others.

One final expectation to talk about is you’ll be challenged in this class. There’ll be some things that you hear me say that you’ve never heard before or that are different from what you have learned or what you have experienced. You may say, “Hey, you’re basically saying that this thing that I invested my life in or that I took part in was not helpful—ultimately not really good for me.” That may happen in this class, and you might feel inclined to be offended and to just dismiss what I say.

But before you do that, I urge you to remember James 1:19-21. It says this: “My beloved brethren, let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.”

James 1:21: “In humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.”

Now, that verse gives us good advice for life in general: don’t just speak right away, don’t get angry right away. But notice that the whole context there is actually about the word of God. We’re inclined in our flesh when we hear some word that we don’t really like or that’s different than what we’ve heard before to be like, “Oh, whatever,” and we get angry at the person who tells us about it.

But don’t do that. Don’t do that in this class either. Be a Berean. You say, “Huh, that’s different than what I’ve experienced. That’s different than what I’ve learned. Let me see if that’s really scriptural. See if the Bible really lines up with it.”

I think, and this is one of the things I definitely felt when I took the counseling courses in seminary, we don’t realize how much our thinking has been affected by the world’s ideas—especially how much we’ve been psychologized. So expect to be challenged, but in a way that actually leads to your good.

Here’s a look at what our lesson topics are going to be like. I said we have ten weeks to work together. I won’t read all those to you, but we can see our first five classes are kind of dealing with some things related to biblical counseling—to distinguish it from some of the other approaches to dealing with soul problems. And the second half we’re dealing with, “Okay, how do we deal with these biblically?”

There is a break in the middle. Notice we’re not going to have class on October 17th. I’m probably going to be away that week. But we should finish the week of Thanksgiving, November 21st.

All right, that’s it for class expectations. Any quick questions? Did everybody get a folder? Anybody still need a folder? Okay, great.

Why Do I Do What I Do?

All right, let’s move to our second part. Let’s talk about that question that I use as part of the title of this class: “Why do I do what I do, and how can I change?”

I don’t know if you’ve really thought about that question even for yourself, but it’s a very important question in our world. A lot of people are thinking about it, researching about it, proposing answers to it.

People want to know why does society do what it does? Why do people in general do what they do? Why do I do what I do? Why do the people around me do what they do?

We’re especially interested in this question when people act in a way that is strange or shameful or harmful to themselves or to others.

Consider some example questions that will prompt us to think, “Okay, why do I do what I do?” Why does a person keep going back to some enslaving activity—gambling, immorality, alcohol, drugs, entertainment via television and video games? Why does a person live in transgenderism or homosexuality? Why is a person frequently fearful or angry or depressed?

Why does a person commit murder—even mass murder? Why does a person become anorexic? Why does a person overeat? Why is a person delusional, believing what is false about himself and others?

These are serious questions prompted just by living in the world and watching how people act. When these questions involve our own selves or the people we love, we want to know the answers.

“When these questions involve our own selves or the people we love, we want to know the answers.”

What the World Says: Explanations for Human Behavior

The world provides answers—some answers. And I want you to brainstorm with me. Here’s a clearly interactive part of the class. What does the world say? What explanation does the world provide for why we do what we do? And then, as we answer that, what does the world provide as a solution based on that explanation?

I’ll give you one example just to stimulate your thinking. One possible explanation for why we do what we do is that it’s just our DNA. It’s our genetics. You are predisposed, or you are almost meant to act a certain way because of your genetics. And the solution, then, if it’s because of your DNA—well, we have to work in a biological way to counteract your DNA. We have to provide you medication or medicine.

What are other explanations and solutions the world gives for why we do what we do? What would you say? You can just say it. Don’t raise your hand. But stay nice and loud.

That’s right. Based on experience—they’ve had certain experiences, especially bad experiences. And it’s an explanation for what they do now. They’ve been abused, or they went through some trauma. That’s why they do it. But if that’s the case, then what’s the solution to helping a person change? They’ve had these bad experiences or traumas. What do they need?

That’s true. Is it okay to summarize a little bit what you said, Mark? Talking about even Joseph’s experience—what you experienced as evil, God meant for good. So let’s look at more. How does God want you to view what you went through? And how is he actually going to use it in a way that benefits you? How does God want you to think about it and react to it?

Now, that’s not what the world proposes. That’s actually, I think, something that biblical counseling would lead you to. But what would the world say if you have these bad experiences, traumas? What’s the world solution?

Right. I think I heard a number of different things, and Tina mentioned something. But certainly one idea will be to say, “It’s not your fault. You had this experience. This thing happened to you.” So maybe we’ll put you in therapy. We’ll recondition you, retrain you, or put you in a different environment, or give you some medication. Maybe all of those.

What other explanation for why we do what we do from the world?

You feel that you deserve it. Where does that come from?

I think that’s—you say this feeling of deserving. But where does that come from? Where would the world say that comes from? Are you going to add to that? Could you say it a little more loudly?

Yes, yes. Okay, right. I think that’s along the lines of what Juliana was saying—this feeling of being a victim, not getting what I needed or deserved. I still feel like that’s one step removed from the original source. Why do we feel that way? Why is that true?

I think the world will offer different explanations. Upbringing. And I think that connects to maybe experiences or traumas. It’s just the way you were raised. It was just the way you were trained as a child. Why are you racist? Because you were raised racist. Why are you a Christian or a Muslim? It’s the way you’re raised. No other reason.

But if your upbringing was poor or unhelpful, well, what do you need? Re-education. You need to be reconditioned because your upbringing was not suitable. Or bring in some of those other solutions—medication and such.

I think we can brainstorm a number of different answers. Just for the sake of time, I’ll supply some more. It’s your biology. Why do you do what you do? It’s just those chemicals interacting inside your body. It’s those basic evolutionary drives. That’s why you’re so aggressive. That’s why you’re so promiscuous. It’s just your biology.

What do you need? Well, you need medication. You need medicine. You need some sort of medical treatment. Or it’s your genetics again. We need medicine. Or you have certain unconscious psychological needs that are not being met, and that’s why you do what you do. You have low self-esteem. You have an inferiority complex. You are not able to express yourself fully.

What we need is those psychological needs to be fulfilled. A trained therapist will help you do that. Whether people around you, they need to help you do that.

It’s your upbringing. It’s your experience. It’s some sort of trauma. It was the education you had. It’s your environment. Sometimes we do hear this explanation. You say, “Well, he was raised in poverty. What do you expect? He’s going to do.” Or “He lives as part of an unjust society. Society gave him no other way out. What do you expect?”

We even heard this with some of the protests that took place last year, right? Some of the violent protests. They say, “What do you expect? It’s the environment. They’re oppressed.”

What’s the solution? You have to change the environment. They need to be placed in a new environment. Or you need to change society. You need to reform society. If you want people to change, you got to change society. You got to change their environment. There needs to be justice.

And one other idea I think we could also mention is cosmic forces. This isn’t as popular an explanation in America, but it has been very popular throughout the history of the world. Why do you do what you do? It’s because of your zodiac sign. It’s because of how the stars were arranged when you were born. It’s because of mystical forces working against you. There are demons, spirits that basically force you to do this.

Actually, the ancient Greeks and Romans said this a lot about their gods. You look at stories like Oedipus or some of the other ancient tragedies, and there’s this idea of fate or the gods just working against you. You can’t help it. There’s nothing you can do.

Or you have to placate those gods. You have to placate those spirits. You have to go through various rituals. You have to channel the right energies, offer the right sacrifices in order to change.

This is not an exhaustive list, but these are some different ideas that the world supplies for why we do what we do and how we can change. But what do you notice is a pattern or common to these answers?

I think one of the things that you’ve already mentioned is they all essentially make man a what? A victim. He’s ultimately not responsible. He’s a victim of his own biology, of cosmic forces, of society.

What else do you notice is common to these?

Along the same idea, Ken said no personal responsibility. You’re a victim. What else?

I think that is part of one of the explanations. Glendale mentioning, “Because my father or grandfather acted a certain way, that’s the way I should act, or that’s the way I act.” I think that again it removes responsibility from yourself. That’s part of how you become a victim or maintain the identity of a victim.

I think another thing that maybe is obvious to you or maybe not is that these explanations don’t really take into account the Bible or God or what God says. They also notice almost all the solutions have an external focus to them. Things need to change on the outside if you’re going to change.

Also notice that there’s limited hope for change. I mean, if it’s in your DNA, that’s you. We can medicate you. We can give you some medicine. But you’re going to have to take that medicine the rest of your life, and it’ll just help you kind of deal with it—not necessarily be transformed.

Or if the solution is to change your environment, change society, is that really going to happen? Are we really going to have a fully just society? We’re never going to get there. So are you ever going to be able to change fully?

These answers provide limited hope for change. They provide solutions that are ultimately unreachable, or they just provide a coping mechanism.

“These answers provide limited hope for change. They provide solutions that are ultimately unreachable, or they just provide a coping mechanism.”

Now, some of these answers and explanations—there is some truth to them. For some of these, they do have a real influence on us and how we act. And certain external changes can be helpful to a person. It will help people act better if they are in a better environment, for instance. But these explanations are ultimately incomplete, and their offered solutions cannot bring about deep and lasting change.

The Heart of the Matter: The Biblical Answer

And one of the reasons we know that is because of what God says in the Bible. How does God answer these two questions: “Why do I do what I do?” and “How can I change?”

I think there are a lot of different ways we can formulate the answer from the Bible. The way I’d like to answer it in a way that’s helpful for our class is the following: Your behavior reflects what your heart believes and loves. Therefore, only when your heart is renewed to believe and love rightly will you act rightly.

Or to say it another way, even more concisely: Why do you do what you do? It’s because of what’s going on in your heart. “Out of the heart the mouth speaks.” It’s not what’s external to you that defiles you. It is what comes from your heart.

Jesus says you heard from Ecclesiastes recently: “What is in man’s heart? Insanity all the days of his life.” You think he acts an insane way because he’s insane in his heart. Therefore, identifying what’s going on in the heart and changing the heart is key to changing how a person acts, changing what they do, changing their behavior.

“Your behavior reflects what your heart believes and loves. Identifying and changing the heart is key to changing how a person acts.”

But who of us, who in the world has the wisdom and the power to do this? To see into the heart and to transform it? Various psychologists and scholars throughout time have said that they figured it out. But the Bible says man’s heart is utterly mysterious and sick and deceitful. It is a heart of stone. We are all born enslaved to various desires—even slaves of Satan and sin.

How can you change a stony heart, a stubborn heart? How can any of us change our own hearts, let alone someone else’s?

The implication from the scriptures is that you cannot—even though you should, you can’t. Even though you’re required to, you can’t. But who’s in the business of changing hearts? God is. The Lord is. He’s the one who gives us new hearts. He takes the heart of stone away, and he puts in a heart of flesh. Only God can change the heart.

But how does he do it? How is he chosen to do it? You can answer this.

The gospel. The word renewing our minds through the word. Now, how do we hear the word? Somebody has to tell us, right? And what makes the word effective? The Lord’s spirit.

The means that God has chosen to transform hearts is his people using his words and acting according to his spirit. This is basically biblical counseling. This is what biblical counseling is all about. It’s God’s people using God’s words and relying on God’s spirit to change people.

That’s why we’re doing this class. That’s why I’m excited about it. That’s why you should be excited about it. We are invited, called by God to be part of something that the world wants to do but cannot do, which is to change people from the inside out. Only God can do this, and he’s chosen to do it through his word.

“We are invited, called by God to be part of something the world wants to do but cannot do—change people from the inside out.”

From the outset, let us resolve to take the double-edged sword of the Lord—which is powerful to change hearts—over all the plastic butter knives of the world. The world can only accomplish limited change. They can accomplish some change, but it’s limited. It cannot get to the heart. The Lord says I do that, and I want you to be part of it.

But we need to rely on the Lord. We need to rely on his word, which is why we’re talking about this now.

There’s a lot more to explain as to how we do this, how we participate in this amazing ministry from God. It’s part of that ministry of reconciliation that Pastor Bobby’s been talking about in his recent sermons. That’s why we have our ten lessons.

What Is Biblical Counseling?

But for the rest of today—now that I’ve kind of pointed us to how biblical counseling is the superior answer to what the world offers—I want to talk more about what biblical counseling actually is. There are a lot of misconceptions about biblical counseling. Maybe some of you have gone through biblical counseling and didn’t have a good experience. Or some people who don’t really know about biblical counseling make some false claims or assumptions about it.

So I want to clarify what biblical counseling is and is not. I’m kind of doing a contrasting method of going through these points, taking a cue from our apostle John. You go through his gospel, you go through his letters. There’s a lot of “not this, but that.” “You don’t love your brother, you don’t know God. You love your brother, God—” We’re going to do something like that by talking about what biblical counseling is not and what biblical counseling is.

I’m giving you ten clarifications. There’s a space in your notes for you to take some words down.

The Bible Identifies and Changes Hearts

We’ll start with the most fundamental clarification. Biblical counseling is not using worldly wisdom with Bible verses. There’s a lot of Christian counseling that does this. It’s just basically psychology or some other type of worldly wisdom, but they throw in a few Bible verses. Pastors do this. Professional counselors do this. That’s not biblical counseling. Just because you mentioned a few Bible verses is not biblical counseling.

What is biblical counseling? This is very important. Biblical counseling is using the Bible to identify and change hearts. You’re relying on the Bible. You’re using the Bible to identify what’s going on in someone’s heart and helping them change.

Can the Bible do this? Does the Bible do this? Well, listen to Hebrews 4:12-13.

Hebrews 4:12-13 says: “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing as far as a division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from his sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of him with whom we have to do.”

I mentioned before—there have been many psychological theorists who have claimed that they can see into the heart. “Hey, you don’t really know what’s going on, but you have these basic repressed desires. I can see them. Oh, you had this dream. I can see what’s going on.” This is not true. But the Bible can do what these men have claimed that they can do. It can discern and expose the deepest hidden realities in our hearts.

Hebrews 4:12: “The word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Notice how in Hebrews 4:12, the word of God pierces. It says it pierces into the division of soul and spirit. Now understand, soul and spirit are actually two words that describe the same thing—heart, mind, soul, spirit. I’m going to argue later that those are all just different ways of talking about the same thing. So he’s not talking about piercing the division point of soul and spirit. They’re actually the same.

When he says to the division of joints and marrow—well, joints and marrow are not connected. Joints are certain parts of your body—the various hinge parts of your body. But the marrow is what’s inside your bone. You don’t divide joints and marrow. They’re not exactly connected. So what’s he saying?

They’re not being divided one from the other, but they’re being divided within. Your soul is being cut apart and exposed. Your spirit is being diced up. Your joints are being dissected. Your marrow is being atomized. Every part is being broken down at its smallest components.

All this is an analogy to the last phrase. It says the word of God is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. What’s the difference between thoughts and intentions? It’s actually not that much different in English, and there isn’t in the Greek words either. They’re pretty much synonyms.

The point is they’re not separating one from the other, but they’re being separated within. The Bible is able to break down what you’re really thinking, what’s really going on in your heart. It exposes it. It shows you not only what is right and wrong and whether you measure up, but also what are the motivations behind whether you’re pursuing right and wrong. It is a total exposure of the heart.

I think of that other line in 1 Corinthians 14, where Paul was talking about, “I want all of you to prophesy and not speak in tongues. Why? Because if an uninitiated man comes into your midst and he hears everybody prophesy, what’s going to happen? His heart is going to be exposed. The secrets of his heart will be revealed.” That verse says, “And he will confess God is among you.”

How did that happen? The word. The word revealed what was going on in his heart. As theologians have said, “You don’t judge the word. The word judges you.”

So a biblical counselor—someone who fundamentally knows God’s word well enough to use it to show others what’s really in their hearts. Say, “Hey, look, I see this in your life. What does the Bible say about that? Not only is that sin, but I know where it comes from. It comes from this. Why are you so angry? Why are you in so many conflicts? What does the Bible tell me about why that happens? It’s because you have, as James would say, you have these raging desires in your heart. You have these lusts that you want fulfilled. And because they’re not being fulfilled, you get angry.”

The Bible shows us what’s going on in our heart. But it doesn’t just identify it. It is also part of what God uses to transform a heart. The Bible transforms hearts.

To emphasize this point, let me mention another verse to you. Colossians 1:28.

Colossians 1:28 says: “We proclaim him admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom so we may present every man complete in Christ.”

I bring up this verse because of the word “admonishing.” It’s a key term for counselors because it is the Greek word “noutheteō,” and within this term is a root word—nous, Greek nous. It’s the word for mind or understanding. It’s equivalent to the heart, actually.

Biblical counseling used to go by another name. It was called “nouthetic counseling.” It is the ministry of God’s word to the mind, to the heart. And that’s really behind the idea of noutheteō.

The root idea of the word is to advise or counsel, but it often has the idea of correction or warning away from a wrong course. This is counsel. This is instruction. This is advice to go away from a wrong course and come back to the right course. This is admonishment.

Notice in Colossians 1:28, Paul says that we Christians use admonishment and instruction with all wisdom. We have complete wisdom for doing all this counseling and instruction. From where? The Bible, from God’s word.

What is the result? We don’t just fill people’s brains. We don’t just identify their hearts. But what do we present at the end? Every man complete in Christ. You mean with complete knowledge, sufficient knowledge? But actually, it doesn’t just stay there. It shows up in your actions. Your life is transformed. That’s what God’s about, right?

Ephesians 2:10 says: “We were created in Christ Jesus for good works so that we may walk in them.”

Our instruction, our admonishment—it is ultimately bringing about transformation in how we live, how we behave. What else can make this claim to transform a person from the inside out? A lot of people make the claim, but the Bible actually does it.

Biblical Counseling Is Deep, Not Shallow

This is fundamental number one. But some might say in response, “No, biblical counseling, admonishment with the Bible, is shallow. It’s just Bible band-aids. You’re just putting a Bible verse over somebody’s deep hurt. Someone who’s really struggling? Take two Bible verses, call me in the morning.”

A lot of people think that’s what biblical counseling is. And unfortunately, in some cases, that is what people try to make biblical counseling be. Some lazy counselors are like that. But that’s mostly an unfair characterization.

Biblical counseling is not shallow. It is deep. Someone wise in the word of God is able to get into the depths of someone’s heart like no one else can.

Proverbs 20:5 has the same idea—this idea that biblical counseling is actually deep.

Proverbs 20:5 says: “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water. You can imagine that be hard to reach, right? Hard to discern. But notice the second half of the verse: But a man of understanding draws it out.”

Proverbs 20:5: “A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out.”

How do you become a man of understanding? You need the word of God. You can reach into the deep waters of a man’s heart.

Biblical Counseling Is Filled with Sincere Love

Besides believing that biblical counseling is shallow, along with that is often the accusation that it is uncaring. Counseling is uncaring. You’re just throwing the Bible at people. You’re not taking the time to listen and care. You’re just tying up impossible burdens on people. “Hey, why are you not joyful in the Lord? You depressed person. You need to repent again.”

Some lazy counselors, some unfeeling counselors, are out there who are like that. But that’s not the majority. This is a slander. Biblical counseling really is filled with sincere love. It is filled with sincere love.

If you’re not doing it with sincere love, you’re not doing it rightly. This is the model we have from the scriptures. Listen to 1 Thessalonians 2. You’re welcome to turn to these places.

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8. This is Paul describing his ministry among the Thessalonians. And listen to how he describes it: “But we proved to be gentle among you as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives because you have become very dear to us.”

Who’s more tender than a mother with her nursing newborn? I can’t think of a more tender example. But Paul says, “That’s the way I minister to you, my flock.” And it must be the same for us when we look to minister God’s Bible to others in counseling.

True biblical counseling is full of care, sympathy, and investment into other people’s lives. If you’re not showing that other person that you care, if you’re not grieving with them over their griefs, if you’re not taking time to listen and understand, you’re not doing biblical counseling.

“True biblical counseling is full of care, sympathy, and investment into other people’s lives.”

Biblical counseling doesn’t sell short the word of God’s power. It doesn’t say, “Hey, that’s all so hard. Yeah, I guess you really can’t change.” That’s not what the word says. You wouldn’t be loving if you told somebody that.

We don’t replace true love with mere niceness. But biblical counseling is full of sincere love.

Biblical Counseling Is Essential to the Church

But how necessary is it? A lot of people assume that biblical counseling is optional. “Hey, I’ve never heard of biblical counseling before. I guess we don’t really need it. I mean, it’s nice to have at our church, but we don’t really need it, right?”

Actually, biblical counseling is essential. It is critical to God’s people, the church. And again, we can just look at the examples from scripture.

Listen to Paul describe his ministry in the town of Ephesus. Acts 20:31.

Paul says to the Ephesian elders: “Therefore be on the alert, remembering that night and day for a period of three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears.”

This is a very poignant statement. We see the word “admonish” again. But notice how constant, how individual, how sincere was Paul’s ministry. He says, “I did not cease. I was doing it night and day. And I went to each one. And I was talking to them with tears.”

Acts 20:31: “Night and day for three years I did not cease to admonish each one with tears.”

Why? Because Paul knew they needed it. And in the context of this verse, what is his exhortation to the elders? Why does he mention this? Because he says, “Savage wolves will arise in the church, and they will mislead. Therefore, I’ve got to tell each one of you.”

The Role of Preaching and Personal Ministry

But someone will say, “Well, surely preaching will take care of it. Just let the pastor take care of it from the pulpit. The elders, do we really need individual counseling?”

It’s amazing how people are able to shrug off or ignore preaching. I went on a short-term missions trip to Ukraine some years ago. Part of our ministry there was that we gave our testimonies every day when we met with Ukrainian children in Kiev who came out to play baseball with us. We gave our testimony. We gave the gospel. They heard it ten times.

But there’s this one young man who, towards the end of our time there, I engaged in a conversation and asked him about his relationship with God. When I began to explain the gospel to him, he reacted as if he had never heard it before. I was like, “We’ve just been telling it to you for ten days straight. How did you miss this?”

That’s just what people do. They tune out during the sermon. They say, “That applies to somebody else,” or they come up with their rationalizations for what they do, and they miss it. That’s why it is so important that we engage with one another on a personal basis with the word of God.

To use a martial analogy—actually, Dr. Street used this—preaching is kind of like the shotgun: a blast that is wide. But biblical counseling is like the sniper rifle, where there may be certain hardened positions where that scatter shot attempt is not going to reach them. They need a little bit more focused strike.

“Preaching is like spreading a buffet. But some need it personally delivered. That’s why we need the personal ministry of the word.”

You say, “Oh, that’s a little violent analogy.” Okay, let me use a different one. Let’s talk about a food analogy. Preaching is like spreading a buffet for people. Come and eat. But there are some in the congregation who just aren’t willing, or they’re so weak that they can’t bring themselves to eat the food. What they need is for it to be personally delivered to them. Sometimes they need to be spoon fed. That’s why we need counseling. That’s why we need the personal ministry of the word.

Biblical Counseling Is for All Christians

But who’s supposed to do it? There’s another misconception about biblical counseling. This should be practiced only by experts. Biblical counseling—that’s kind of like an elite-sounding term. Professional. Surely that’s just for the pastors and elders, right? But the certified counselors, professional counselors—I shouldn’t take part in that work, right?

No, that’s not true. Biblical counseling should be practiced by all Christians. Really, we are all counselors, whether we want to be or not. People are always coming to you for advice, or they just talk about their lives, and you have an opportunity to say something.

The question is: are we biblical counselors or not? Are we actually using the word of God accurately and skillfully?

God has called us to do this. Colossians 3:16 says this: “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.”

Let the word of Christ dwell within you, and teach it to one another. Who’s this exhortation to? The pastors, the elders, the leaders? To everyone. Everyone’s supposed to be doing this.

Originally, this was given to a bunch of new Gentile Christians. Say, “Oh, are they qualified for that?” They are if they let the word of Christ grow within them. That’s what God’s called you to do and me to do.

Colossians 3:16: “Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, teaching and admonishing one another with all wisdom.”

But can we do this? Surely we need to be trained in this. We need to be equipped with the word. We need to understand and know the word. But we can do this, and it’s the expectation that we will.

It is important that we do not try to outsource this ministry to some people or organization outside the church. It is good to have the guidance and the oversight of elders when it comes to counseling. It’s good to have the mutual accountability and admonishment of the fellowship of the church.

Really, counseling is part of church discipline. It’s not separate from that. And when it is separate from it, counseling suffers because counseling oftentimes means a confrontation of sin. And sometimes a person is not willing to change, or they say they’re willing, but they’re actually not.

What do you do at that point? Just stop? Well, the word of God says no. There’s a certain process you are to take. And if the person is still unwilling, you have to remove them from the church for their own sake—so that they’ll feel the pain of their sin—but also for the church’s sake and for the Lord’s sake.

The discipline of the church gives counseling teeth, and it protects the body from those who resist counseling.

Counseling Is for Everyone, Not Just Struggling Christians

Counseling is supposed to be part of the church and should be practiced by all Christians. But for whom is counseling? Who’s supposed to be given counsel?

It is not just for failed Christians. Psychologists and other counselors have worked for a long time to remove the stigma of their ministry. Say, “Oh, you go see a psychologist. You go see a counselor.” In the beginning, people thought that meant you were insane or you had some terrible problem. But now it’s kind of accepted.

Unfortunately, there’s still a stigma when it comes to biblical counseling. A lot of Christians will not seek out biblical counseling because they’re too ashamed. “Oh, I don’t want to be one of those failed weak Christians. I don’t want to see a counselor. I don’t want to admit that my marriage is about to fall apart.” And what happens because of that? They usually wait until it’s almost too late to go seek counsel. That’s not the way it should be done.

Counseling is not just for those failed Christians. It’s for everyone. It should be done by everyone, and it should be received by everyone.

What Christian is really beyond the need for advice, counsel, and warning?

First Thessalonians 5:14 says: “We urge you brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the faint-hearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

Have you ever needed one of those things? You ever felt weak? Ever been unruly? Ever been fainthearted?

Pastors sometimes feel that way. Just look in the scriptures. Elijah asked God to kill him because he was so discouraged in his ministry. Jonah was extremely prejudiced against people God told him to minister to. Peter had to be confronted by a fellow apostle because he was no longer acting in a becoming way with Gentile Christians. They all needed counsel and encouragement, admonishment.

You think you don’t? We all need the help of counseling, the help of the Bible, and restoration in it. New Christians, long-time Christians, parents, children, pastors, laymen—no one’s beyond this need.

It’s actually a mark of wisdom to seek out counsel. Say, “Oh, I don’t want to be seen as one of those weak foolish Christians to seek out counseling.” You show yourself weak if you don’t go seek counseling. Proverbs says again and again a wise person is someone who seeks counsel.

“It’s actually a mark of wisdom to seek out counsel. Proverbs says again and again a wise person is someone who seeks counsel.”

Counseling as Focused Discipleship

Now, another question people might have is: is counseling different from discipleship? “I don’t even want to call it counseling. It’s just discipleship, right?”

Well, it’s not really separate. It’s just a focused aspect of discipleship. We’re talking about that intentional long-term investment in another person by teaching, encouragement, and correction. Counseling is just a focused version of that.

When there’s a particular issue or question or problem in a person’s life—a person struggling with pornography, or their marriage is very rocky, or they’re cutting themselves—that needs a little focused attention. Discipleship is more general. Counseling is more specific. But it’s part of discipleship.

It’s important for us to realize that discipleship usually doesn’t manifest immediate results. It’s a long-term thing, isn’t it? Sometimes people change after the one conversation you have with them. But oftentimes it takes time. It takes training.

The Bible talks about our being trained in righteousness by the word of God, but also being trained in sin. Training is an ongoing process, a reinforcing process. When someone’s trained in sin, just telling them, “Hey, you should stop doing that. The Bible says to stop doing that,” actually that’s not enough.

They need some further instruction. They need some encouragement. They need some accountability. And that takes time.

Biblical counseling requires patient discipleship. If you’re not willing to do that, then you’re not doing biblical counseling. You’re going to get frustrated with your counselees, and they’re not going to change. They need your focused ongoing discipleship. Counseling is part of that.

“Biblical counseling requires patient discipleship. They need your focused ongoing discipleship. Counseling is part of that.”

The True Goal: Sanctification and God’s Glory

Couple more clarifications. This is important. Biblical counseling is not about fixing people’s problems. This may surprise you. This is often why people come and ask for counsel. They want a more harmonious marriage. They want relief from pain. They want their roommate to stop leaving dishes in the sink. And they say, “Can you fix this? Can you help me fix this?”

Out of compassion—compassion we want to say yes. “Yeah, I’ll help you. I’ll help you fix this situation.” But beware of that. That is not the true goal of biblical counseling. If you adopt that goal, that agenda, you will be frustrated, and your counseling will be led astray.

What is the real goal of biblical counseling? For people to be sanctified and to glorify God. We often cannot fix people’s situations, and it’s actually not totally profitable to do so because you could fix externals, and the heart will still not be changed. We are chiefly concerned with people living right before God and his glory, for his glory.

First Thessalonians 4:3 says: “This is the will of God: your sanctification.”

First Peter 4:16 says: “If anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but he is to glorify God in this manner.”

Are you suffering? I can’t necessarily relieve you from that. But I can show you how to glorify God through it by living in a holy way.

Acts 3:6. A beggar was asking for money from Peter and John. And they replied, “I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you in the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene. Walk.” We need to have that attitude in counseling.

I can’t fix the situation for you, or I might not be able to. But I can show you how to live rightly before God. I can show you how to have joy in the midst of your difficult situation. And whether your spouse changes, whether your situation changes, whether society ever changes, I don’t know.

But you don’t need that. The Lord is enough. Let me show you how we can show people how to endure with joy.

“I can show you how to have joy in the midst of your difficult situation—how to endure with joy.”

Heart Change, Not Behavior Management

Two more. I’ll just mention these quickly. Consequently, counseling is not focused on behavior. You say, “I thought you were interested in having people change.” Yes, we do want to ultimately see behavior change. But if behavior changes and the heart doesn’t, that’s not good because then we’ve just created a Pharisee. We don’t want just to get outward conformity. We want to see people reconciled to God. Therefore, we want to see their hearts change.

Biblical counseling is not focused on behavior, though it must affect behavior. Don’t tell me your heart’s changing if your actions don’t change. But we want to see the heart change too.

“We don’t want just outward conformity. We want to see people reconciled to God. Therefore, we want to see their hearts change.”

Faithfulness, Not Guaranteed Results

And then finally, biblical counseling is not guaranteed to change people. I don’t have time to fully explain this. Even though God’s way is right, his spirit and word are powerful, it won’t always work because people refuse it.

You can do everything right as a counselor and show them the right way to live. But they have to choose to take it. Ultimately, it has to be God who grants them their repentance.

Every person is responsible. But you can’t force them. It breaks your heart when you meet with somebody, you show them their heart, you show them God’s way, you show them how they ought to change—and they just don’t do it. But that’s not your failure. Ultimately, that’s their choice. You’re just called to be faithful.

It’s the same thing in evangelism, right? You have to rely on God’s grace. You have to rely on God’s power. He’s the one who has to do the work. You just have to be that faithful workman who rightly handles the word of truth and applies it to another person’s life.

Don’t rely on yourself. Get more skilled. But don’t rely on yourself. Rely on God. Pray, prepare, speak, and let the Lord do what seems good to him.

“Don’t rely on yourself. Rely on God. Pray, prepare, speak, and let the Lord do what seems good to him.”

Homework Assignment

Looks like we don’t have time in class for questions today. Let me just talk about the homework. Come up afterwards if you have questions about what you’ve heard.

Here’s the homework for the first class. A couple items here. First, I want each of you to read the Bible and pray every day. You say, “What does that have to do with anything?” This is what I always assign my counselees. If you’re going to have other people transformed by the word of God, then you need to be transformed first.

If you want to be a good counselor, if you want to grow as a Christian, you need to read the Bible and pray. I don’t care how much. If you want to start with something small, great. But just do it. Do it consistently.

When you read the Bible, don’t just turn to a random page. Read contextually. But do it.

The second thing I want you to do: each family and couple here should receive this little booklet. This is called “Christ in Your Problems” by Jay Adams. I’ll mention more about Jay Adams next time. But I almost always open any counseling I do with somebody by asking them to read this because it’s a great crash course on how to deal with your problems biblically.

It’s a meditation on 1 Corinthians 10:13. And it’s very encouraging but also sobering.

“If you want to have other people transformed by the word of God, you need to be transformed first.”

Therefore, as extra credit, I’m not requiring you to do this, but you can read the context of this section of that verse that Jay Adams talks about in this booklet.

For those of you who are online, I will send you an email with a breakdown of the same homework and where you can find it. For those of you in person, you have the booklet and you have the assignments. Okay?

It’s 10 o’clock. I better close in prayer. But thank you so much. Lord, thank you for this time. Lord, I’m excited for this journey. I pray that you’d equip your people to be changed and to help other people change according to your grace and power. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Thank you, everyone.

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